Two Months as a Family of Seven

Well, we are over the hump. We had an unusual couple of weeks. It was, predictably, a learning experience for us all.  I pray constantly that God grants me the wisdom, patience, and grace I need to be the mom I am supposed to be.

Now that we are settling back into a somewhat normal routine, life is good. Amazing, in fact. When Alex is in his comfort zone, he is happy, relaxed, and eager to connect with all six of us. With time, this comfort zone will extend to include more people, places, and situations. Until then, we will continue to communicate as best we can and go  through the rough patches together.

I tell you, it is so sweet to watch my five children converse jovially around the dinner table or play hide and seek together. (Alex's English is good enough now that he can understand a lot in certain contexts, but will have Isaac or Eli translate if he has a question or has something to add.)  And as much as I enjoy watching Alex interact with Eli and Isaac, it is just as heartwarming to see him bonding with Cassie and Clay.  EVERYONE IS GETTING ALONG. Not all the time of course, but as a whole, so far this is working.  We have issues, we talk them out, we learn from them and move on.  Fear will sneak up on me sometimes--there is so much that could go wrong--I need keep reminding myself that God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Gaining Confidence!

In my last blog post I expressed concern about how this week would go, as our normal routine has sorta been thrown out the window. Would you believe it's been (from my perspective) Alex's best week in America?  As our progress tends to be of the "two steps forward, one step back" variety, I'm trying to not get my hopes up too high, but tonight I am absolutely giddy. Alex has this sudden surge of confidence, and it affects everything he does. That confidence makes me think that maybe he feels safe.  He feels wanted. He feels valued.  He feels loved. I sure hope so. I suspect he is loved way beyond his scope of comprehension, but hopefully his eyes are starting to open.

This newfound confidence doesn't change the fact that Alex has a lot of big mountains to climb, but those mountains are so much easier to tackle when you BELIEVE you can climb them. This week, Alex has run towards them full speed.

Mid March Update

The first few weeks in America for Alex were pretty consistent.  The honeymoon was lovely.  Now that he's been here for 6+ weeks, we are experiencing some bigger ups and downs. We are seeing bigger gains, but also more frequent bumps.  I sense that he is starting to see how hard this really is going to be for him. Learning a new language, assimilating into a very different culture and lifestyle, figuring out the boundaries and expectations; it doesn't all happen overnight.  Coming from a world where he lived day-to-day, with little attention paid to the future, these long term undertakings are daunting, I'm sure. There are times when Alex is focused, at ease, and thoroughly enjoying this new life.  There are times, though, when everything seems to crash down on him and it's just too much.  Add in typical 16 year old boy issues and a communication rift and you've got yourself quite a puzzle.  It's hard to know exactly where to draw those boundaries, how hard to push, when to give him space and when to wrap my arms around him and tell him how much he is loved.

The next couple of weeks will be quite a test for all of us, as we will be operating outside our normal routine.   I'm hoping the scales tip in favor of smiles, laughter, and forward progress.