Change in Plans

What was supposed to be a quick and easy adoption to reunite a family has turned into a nightmare. The passport issue did not get worked out, we found out this morning, and now the offices are closed until Jan 8.  We don't know exactly how or when this will be resolved.

So, I had a big decision to make. Do I stay here, not knowing the end game?  This is what happened last year with Eli and Isaac; delay after delay after delay.  Or, do I fly home Jan 4 as planned, but without Sasha?  He would go back to Donetsk and stay with his connections there.  I would then fly back to Ukraine when all the issues were settled and he was ready for our final US embassy appointment.  There are so many factors to consider, and either decision is a really bad one.

After getting input from and having some frank discussions with Sasha, the painful choice was made: I will fly home Jan 4, by myself. I have another flight to Kiev booked for Jan 20. Assuming everything is worked out with the passport, I'll be there just long enough to have our final embassy appointment and fly home, WITH Sasha, on the 23rd.  Hopefully this really will work. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Naturally, it's been a really, REALLY rough day, trying to process this, explain everything to Sasha, and decide what to do.  I pray we have made the better decision.

Anya and Den are both here, and we did have a big NYE celebration, but I'll save that for a later post.

New Year's Eve in Kiev

New Year's Eve. A day of celebration. We'll see. We are awaiting word from the passport office in Donetsk that the issue is indeed fixed and that we will be able to pick the passport up on Jan 8, allowing Sasha and me to fly home Jan 10.

We can celebrate that Anya will be here in Kiev soon. It looks like we will ring in the New Year at Maidan. It is Ukraine's version of Times Square, and the NYE celebration is supposed to be really special, even with recent events.

So in case I don't post again today, please know that Sasha and I are in capable hands and plan to have fun tonight.

Delay

We have hit a snag. We will be delayed. Now our target date to fly home is Jan 10.  There is an issue with his new name on the international passport. Normally this would only add a day or two, but of course it is the holiday season. Orthodox Christmas is Jan 7. In Ukraine, all government offices close from Jan 1-7.  So, they can't finish processing the passport until Jan 8. I am not angry, just sad. I need to get Sasha out of Ukraine. My other kids at home need me. And of course I want to go home.

Anya (and Den?  I'm not sure) will come to Kiev tomorrow. She will accompany us to Lviv.  We'll stay for a few days, just because we can. It will be a nice way to burn some time.

Victor took us to the Lavra today. I visited with the boys last year when it was about -10.  I like it a lot better in 35 degree weather.  At least the weather has been on my side this time.

Maidan!

Yes this is my third blog post today but this is important. Ukraine has been in the international news a lot recently because of the massive demonstrations in Independence Square, aka Maidan. Victor took his young son to Maidan yesterday and told us it was very safe and that we really should visit today. We did, and it was a once in a lifetime experience. Wow wow wow. I can't put into words what we saw other than both Sasha and I were giddy. It was absolutely awe-inspiring. I'll let the pictures and video tell the story. Almost exactly a year ago, I stood in the exact same spot and took the same panoramic video of Independence Square. The atmosphere couldn't be more different.

Hello from Kiev!

We made it!  And Dang, Kiev is such a cool city. Despite all the turmoil that has happened here since I last visited a month or so ago, it looks pretty much the same. The big statue of Lenin is down and there's a really cool looking barricade around Independence Square (Maidan, as the locals call it), but otherwise it looks the same to me. Apartments were slim pickings being New Year's and all. Our place isn't that great but the location is fun, near the TGIFriday's for those who know.  We are about a half mile walk to Independence Square.  Victor took his son there yesterday--he says it is very safe and we should definitely go check it out. We will later today.

Sasha is trying to get the tv to work while I try to get comfortable on the lumpy bed.

We're another step closer to the end.

Leaving Donetsk

I'm writing this from the train. Sasha and I are on our way to Kiev. We don't have his passport yet but it will get to us one way or another. Sasha and I are both hoping that Den and Anya will deliver it personally so we can spend NYE with them in Kiev. The plan is still to fly home on Jan 4.

I've spent some time now with my new son on his home turf, watching him struggle to leave the life he's known.  I've learned a lot about him these past few days.  Whether the new information is good, bad, or ugly, it just makes me love him more. As I get to know him better, I feel more of his hurts, and I feel them deeper and deeper.  Every day I think I couldn't possibly love him more, and then I do.  Every day I think it couldn't possibly hurt more, and then it does. I can hardly catch my breath these days.  Sleep?  No.  Eat?  Barely.  Tears?  You bet.  This boy is taking everything out of me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

My Last Night in Donetsk!

Do you realize how many nights I've spent in Donetsk?  I don't know exactly how many, but it's a lot. How many apartments have I stayed in here in Donetsk over the past 14 months?  I count four, plus one hotel. I might be blocking out one or two, though. They all kind of look the same after awhile. Boarding the train to Kiev tomorrow afternoon will be a big deal for me; I have built a lot of memories in this city. Some very good, some very bad, and all with strong emotions attached. I am happy to close the lid on this volatile box and not open it for awhile.

How did I spend my last full day in Donetsk?  A lot of it was spent confused and in the dark--seems about right, eh?  I already posted about our excursion to Makeevka. Later in the day, Sasha guided me though some errands we needed to run. Having him by my side in Donetsk is laughably different than having Eli and Isaac with me last year. Sasha knows. That sums it up perfectly: just, Sasha knows. Eventually we ended up at a photography studio with Anya and Den. They were having family photographs taken (with their sweet dog), and they wanted Sasha and me to be a part of it. I know: awwwww.  Yes, they are awesome. Afterwards we hunted down some Georgian street food (why can't we have that in Tulsa?), then went to see The Hobbit. Dubbed in Ukrainian. Yeah. I know nothing of the story, so watching the movie, in 3-D no less, was quite a trip. Icing on the cake to my wild, wacky, unforgettable experience here in Donetsk, Ukraine.

Christian Missionary Society's Grace House

We finally had a chance to meet up with our Austrialian friends here in Donetsk, Ben, Angie, and their daughter Annalise. Ben's organization, Christian Missionary Society, has worked very hard to create a safe place for orphans who have aged out of the system.  Ben and Angie took Sasha and me out to the Grace House in Makeevka. It is not yet completely renovated; you can probably tell which photos were taken on the unfinished second floor. Facilites like this for at-risk young adults are sorely lacking in Ukraine. You can like Christian Missionary Society "Center-SOS" on Facebook to keep updated on their progress.

Another Holiday Meal in Donetsk

In what is becoming a tradition, Anya and Den brought food to our Donetsk apartment last night so we could cook a holiday meal together.  In case you don't remember, Curt, Eli, Isaac and I spent Thanksgiving with Anya and Den last year.  Once again we skyped with family back in America as we prepared dinner. Sasha was elbow-deep in the kitchen with the rest of us. We had chicken, potatoes, bread (Den, there HAS to be bread, right?), and borscht. And mandarin oranges as we cooked; a Ukrainian tradition at a Christmas meal. We all had a wonderful time together.

Today hasn't been as joyful.  Sasha is in limbo, which can be a very confusing place. I knew this transition would be difficult for him, and it already is. This hurts a Mama's heart.  As much as he wants to do this, actually doing it is hard. Really hard.  We will take the overnight train to Kiev on Saturday, a few days earlier than planned, so we can get out of familiar territory.  I am thankful for our fantastic friends here in Donetsk and praying for peace for both Sasha and me.

Merry Christmas from Ukraine!

Sasha is sitting next to me on the couch. Best Christmas Gift Ever.

Merry Christmas to you all.

Escape from Amvrosivka

Okay, a lot has happened today. Overall it was a typical day for me in Ukraine, with lots of drama, miscommunications with serious consequences, run-ins with shady characters, nail-biting car rides, exhaustion, and emotions running high.

Skimming over the highlights:

Victor, Sasha, Den and I got a lot done today. We finished up in Amvrosivka (no more driving that terror-inducing Amvrosivka road!) and did all of our business in Donetsk. I mean, we checked Sasha out of the orphanage, got passport photos taken, got him a new domestic passport, spent time at the notary office (a work day is not complete in Donetsk without a trip to the notary office), got passport photos taken again, and applied for an international passport.  Now we just wait for said passport and we can go to Kiev.

My lost bag was found!  I don't know specifics yet; I just know it should arrive in Donetsk the afternoon of the 26th. Hallelujah.

Sasha is an amazing kid. But I knew that already.  He is under so much pressure from different directions and he's handling it like a pro.

We landed on a great apartment to get us through the next 4-5 days in Donetsk.

So there.

Merry Christmas Eve.

Some People Winter in Florida. Some People Winter in Arizona. I Winter in Ukraine.

I'm in Amvrosivka. My luggage isn't. No trace of it.  I'm exhausted. I'll see Sasha tomorrow.  I need to sleep, but below is what I wrote on the plane.

Once again, getting to Ukraine was not easy.  Once again, a major winter storm pushed through Oklahoma, and much of the country, just as I was preparing to leave. Once again, I encountered flight delays. But instead of getting bumped to Business Class and arriving in Donetsk just a few hours behind schedule like two weeks ago, I find myself arriving in Ukraine 24 hours later than planned. Fortunately I don't have a court hearing to attend and have more flexibility. This will put us a day behind, but hopefully we can still wrap everything up before Sasha's and my date with an airplane out of Ukraine on Jan 4.

As stressful as this change in plans was for me on Saturday, it may actually have been a blessing in disguise. After saying goodbye to Curt and the four kids. worrying about every possible thing I could, not sleeping, then spending four fruitless hours at the Tulsa airport on Saturday, I was exhausted and emotionally spent.  It was almost too much.  Some dear friends came to pick me up at the airport.  They hosted me at their house, then brought me back to the airport in time for my flight the next day.  I didn't realize how much I needed this. My gentle friends fed me, took care of me, and provided a very comfortable, quiet respite from the frenzy I've been living in lately.  For those 20 hours or so, I had no responsibilities and it was immeasurably healing.  By the time I got back to the airport, I felt completely refreshed, confident, and calm. There go those guardian angels again.

Preparing for my LAST Trip to Ukraine?

Could it be?  Is this it?  I am almost giddy, preparing for my flight to Donetsk on Saturday.  I expect I'll spend about two weeks in Ukraine, and I'll be coming home with a handsome young man named Alexander Powell.  If this trip goes as planned, I will have spent about 14 weeks in Ukraine over the course of five trips in less than two years.  I won't know what to do with myself without a trip to Ukraine on the horizon.  Of course I can't say with certainty that I will never go back to Ukraine; there may come a time when one or all of the kids want to visit for one reason or another.  Or, with all of our friends there, Curt and I may want to return to see them. As much as I loved Lviv, I might want to experience it again someday.   Down the road if the country is doing really well, I can see myself going back; I would love nothing more than to see a thriving, prospering Ukraine.

A couple of days ago, Clay reluctantly asked me, "Is this the last time I'll get a new brother for a Christmas present?"  Good heavens, I hope so!  I made a joke about starting on the girls now.  He only has ONE sister, you know!  It is certainly not in OUR plans to adopt any more children, but it is not our plans that matter.  I've had a dream or two about meeting my boys' younger biological siblings. (They don't exist in reality, as far as I know.  Egads.)  Hopefully this is it.  Five is enough?  Five kids.   ME, with five kids.  Whoever would have thought.  I always thought that people who had five kids were C.R.A.Z.Y.  Gotta love God's sense of humor.

So, my next 48 hours will be spent packing and getting everyone and everything ready for Christmas.  I am surprisingly calm about it all.  I am SO excited to see Sasha and officially check him out of the orphanage.  I cannot explain the unrest I have felt over the past year, having so little control over his environment.  He's my child, and just as with my other four children, I want him to feel safety, stability, and love.  I have been praying for him daily, and I know that God is watching over him, but what a relief it will be when Sasha is finally with his family.  We're almost there.
 

What a Difference a Year Can Make

A year ago today, my sister-in-law Kayla and I made a harrowing drive from Donetsk to Amvrosivka in the middle of a snowstorm, racing the clock. Why would we do that?  Sasha. That was the day we invited him to come to America to visit his brothers through Ukrainian Resource Center's orphan hosting program.  I had met him a week prior and I KNEW he belonged with us.  A phone call from a translator would not suffice; I had to look Sasha in the eye and let him know someone cared. My heart ripped to shreds that day, and still hasn't mended.  I have learned so much from this boy this past year.  I thank God every day for bringing him into my life, not just because Sasha will have a better future, but because of what he has shown me.  Life's greatest blessings can come from the most unlikely places sometimes, can't they?

Today I booked Sasha's one way flight to Tulsa, under the Powell name. I suspect he'll be smiling the whole way home.  I know I will.  What a difference a year can make, indeed.

Some Fun in Munich

I talk a lot about how much we like the Munich airport. Not only is it screamingly efficient, orderly, and clean with outstanding food options, but it's fun. They have a central outdoor market area that is dressed according to the season. Being Christmastime, you can guess what this market looks like now. They have an ice rink set up and a stage for live music.  People are milling about, enjoying themselves in this fun, festive atmosphere.  You'd never think you were in an airport. Here are some photos I took last night.

Notes from Munich

We had a wild, impromptu fling with Istanbul on our way to Ukraine, but we are back with safe, comfortable, reliable Munich for the night.  Despite the never-ending snow in Donetsk, we got to the airport swiftly and our flight left on time.  We are back at the Kempinski Hotel, at the Munich airport. It's always good to be back in the capable hands of the Germans.  The air in Ukraine has a distinctive smell to it; Munich smells sweet in comparison.

So now it's time to temporarily patch my broken heart and mother the four awesome American kids waiting for me at home.  Soon I'll be able to meld these two versions of Mom.

We have some new friends who are adopting a girl from Ukraine. They have three biological kids at home. Mom is having a hard time leaving her new daughter alone in Ukraine as they wait for their court date. I recently told her, "Your heart won't rest until all of your babies are together, but when they are, the overwhelming peace you'll feel will make all the pain worthwhile."  This summer when I had all five of my babies together for the first time, I felt a peace and joy I'd never known.  If you were around me this summer, you know how insanely busy I was, getting all the kids to all the places they needed to go at all hours of the day, plus entertaining Sasha's orphanage director, plus feeding all eight of us and dealing with language issues. It was hard, really hard, but I felt incredibly strong and fulfilled.  Helping Sasha permanently adjust to life in our family here in America will be hard, but it is undeniably God's plan for our lives, and when you are living out God's plan, He will provide.  If He has faith in us to do this, why shouldn't we have faith that He will provide?  He'll provide materially, emotionally, and will guide us through all of the unknowns.  I also know that He will provide peace and wisdom as we venture into these unchartered waters.

I daydream about the moment I can confidently tell Sasha, "You are safe now."  He's waited so long, and it's something I've longed to tell him since the first day I met him, over a year ago.  Soon.  Soon!

An Entire Trip to Ukraine in One Post

WHAT A WHIRLWIND.  Curt and I are in a hotel room in snowy Donetsk right now.  We are flying to Munich tonight, and on to Tulsa tomorrow.  I'll try to catch you up on everything that's happened since we left Tulsa a few days ago.

First, here's what Donetsk looked like last evening.  It was supposed to snow all night; I haven't looked outside yet this morning but I'm confident...well, hopeful... that the roads will be passable and the airport is functioning.

Okay, where to start.  How about in Tulsa.  Our first flight, Tulsa to Dulles, was delayed.  By 2.5 hours.  That was BAD NEWS as we had no margin.  We spoke at length with a United gate agent, a United rep on the phone, and searched online for other options, and after a couple of hours the best we could come up with was arriving in Donetsk 24 hours late, too late for our court appointment.  We would have to beg the judge to squeeze us in the next day.  When we came to this decision and approached a different gate agent about the appropriate changes to our itinerary, this guardian angel of ours offered another suggestion: flying Turkish Air through Istanbul.  We'd arrive in Donetsk only five hours later than originally scheduled.  Why didn't this option come up earlier?  Probably because the only two seats left were in business class, which this angel kindly booked us on.

The ten hour flight to Istanbul was not nearly long enough.  They stuffed us full of wonderful food and let us peacefully sleep on flat beds.  The Istanbul airport was beautiful, too.  Turkey has always been on my travel radar but now it's moved up to the top of my wish list.  Someday, but not likely as a family of seven.

We arrived in Donetsk somewhat rested and ready for the harrowing drive to Amvrosivka.  Thankfully Den was driving and the roads were clear. We got to our hotel around 11:00pm, about eight hours before we needed to be up and ready for court.  Hey, we made it.

Back in the land of no-food-options, we choked down a barely edible breakfast and headed to the courthouse, where we met Sasha.  My sweet boy was happy to see us, and of course I didn't want to let go of him.  Our judge brought us into his office for the court hearing.  Along with Curt, me, Sasha, and Victor, there were also a couple of jurors/witnesses, a court recorder, a rep from the orphanage, and the woman from juvenile services.  This hearing was much different from our hearing in Enakievo a year ago.  This was the first adoption case for this judge, and he didn't miss a step.  He spent several minutes going over all of our rights and responsibilities.  He read our petition out loud.  The whole thing.  He reviewed much of our dossier.  He then discussed Sasha's painful history at length.  All of this of course was read in Russian, which Victor translated for us.  We were at it for at least an hour, crammed into this small, stuffy room.  The judge confirmed with us that all of the information was correct, asked Sasha if this was what he wanted (Dah, dah, dah), and then we adjourned.  He did not waive the ten day waiting period, as you can probably guess, since I'm flying back home today.  We are disappointed, but we can understand why a Ukrainian judge would not want to do anything out of the ordinary given the current political climate.  No reason to draw attention to yourself.

Speaking of the current political climate, things are pretty quiet here in the east.  We saw a handful of protesters braving the snow in the main square in Donetsk last night.  It looks like the tension keeps revving higher and higher in Kiev.  Victor assures us that when Sasha and I go through Kiev later this month we will be able to steer clear of the action.

As a snowstorm was pending, Curt, Victor and I decided to bail early on Amvrosivka and get to Donetsk.  No need to repeat the horror Kayla and I went through last year, driving that insanely dangerous road in the snow, racing the clock.  We said goodbye to Sasha yet again and thanked God for the safe passage Den provided us to Donetsk yet again.  This routine is wearing me down.  This should be the last goodbye to Sasha, though.  The last time I have to leave him in uncertain hands.  What a relief it will be in a few weeks when we board that plane out of Kiev, knowing Sasha never has to return.  He may want to go back to visit someday, but it will be HIS decision.

So, that brings Curt and me to Donetsk.  Anya and Den took us to a fun restaurant last night called Pig.  Or, the Russian word for Pig, whatever it is.  Lots of photos of pigs on the walls and pork products on the menu.  "There's a pig in the bathroom," Den told us after we ordered.  "He's sleeping right now."  How cute, I thought.  A photo?  A painting?  A sculpture?  A stuffed pig?  I'd find out at some point.  After Curt made a visit to the bathroom, he came back to the table, grabbed my hand, and took me there.  This is what I saw:

IT WAS A PIG!

The pig came out later to entertain us:

What a fun evening.  You can't do this in America.

So what's next?  Curt and I should get home Wednesday night.  I will try to book a flight back to Donetsk Dec 21, so that I can be ready to start the post-waiting-period race Monday the 23rd: get new birth certificate, social security number, domestic passport, international passport, and officially check Sasha out of the orphanage.  Then we'll train to Kiev for our medical and embassy appointments.  Our tentative date to fly home is Jan 4.  As you've figured out, this means I'll spend Christmas and New Year's in Ukraine.  Yeah, bummer.  But, I'll spend Christmas and New Year's with Sasha, who will officially be a Powell by then; the best Christmas gift I could ask for.

Oh, I have some special photos to share:

Presenting Alexander Curtis Powell!  Sasha is a common nickname for Oleksandr.  We'll try Alex for awhile and see if it sticks.

And here's a happy Mom, before the court hearing.

I know that a lot of you are praying for us.  We appreciate it more than you can imagine and can see the fruit in the unexpected doors that keep opening and the supernatural strength that fills us.  As we start yet another phase of this journey, we have some specific prayer requests:

That Curt and I can get home in a safe and timely manner.  Weather on both continents is an issue.

To protect Sasha's heart after being left again.  Life here is so hard for him, especially now that he's in limbo.  I pray constantly that God continues to grant him peace, wisdom, strength, and perspective.  It amazes me what this child can endure.

That my other four children will have peace about Mom being gone for Christmas.  Not just gone, but in an unstable country.

Strength for me as I prepare my family in the US for Christmas and their trip to New Mexico.  Strength for me as I concurrently prepare myself for Christmas with Sasha and my trip to Ukraine.

Love to you all.  I'll try to post from Munich.

We Made it to Amvrosivka

Just a quick post to say that we made it to the hotel in Amvrosivka late last night. There was much drama in getting here, but we made it with a few hours to spare. Court is this morning.  I'll fill in with details later.

One Big Hurdle Cleared, Plus some Fun Photos

We heard this morning that Victor has our Permission to Adopt from the SDA in his hands.  WHEW.  That was a big concern, with all the chaos in Kiev.  Now about getting out of Tulsa...the snow is fun, especially when you're an adolescent boy, but it might make flying out of Tulsa tricky.  We have a short layover in DC so we need everything to line up perfectly tomorrow.

Speaking of snow...

Isn't our Timing Just Grand?

Yes, Ukraine is a mess right now.  We are scheduled to leave for Donetsk Saturday.  Our court hearing is set for 10:00 Monday morning.  No, we don't know if all the pieces will be in place when we get there, and as of right now the pieces are scattered far and wide.  All we can do at this point is pray, then laugh and throw up our hands.   It's out of our control.

What's going on in Ukraine is way bigger than our little story, though.  My bigger prayer is that a peaceful resolution will come to pass, and that the people of Ukraine will have hope for a brighter future.  Such a brighter future that the economy stabilizes, enabling people to become properly educated and keep good jobs, bringing down stress levels, keeping families together, and resolving the orphan crisis to a point where foreign adoptions like ours are no longer necessary.  

Happy Thanksgiving!

Curt and I spent Thanksgiving with Eli and Isaac last year, while waiting for our court date in Ukraine. There the boys had a brief introduction to the tradition of stuffing yourself silly with poultry, potatoes, vegetables, and even cranberry jelly, but today was their first REAL American Thanksgiving, with football on tv and everything. They of course loved it.  I did, too, and am thankful that our boys are here at home with us this year. Next year I hope to be even more thankful, with one more place setting at the table.  As we were putting the leftovers away today, someone remarked that we had just enough for one more person. Next year, Sasha, next year!  He has been missed greatly today.

Coming Home

We're in Munich.  I remember when Germany seemed so exotic, but tonight it feels like home.  We've been to Ukraine enough times now that we've programmed ourselves to quickly get in Ukraine Mode and adjust expectations while there.  It's always such a thrill to stay the night in Munich on the way home (we love the ultra-modern Kempinski Hotel, right in the airport) and rediscover all the luxuries that we take for granted.  Fresh air!  Fitted sheets!  Clean linens!  A soft bed!  Lighting!  Drinkable water from the tap that doesn't smell!  It will be nice to sleep in my own bed tomorrow.

It was SO great to see Anya and Den today.  We need to find a way to bring them to the States once things settle down at our house!

We got to spend a good part of the day with Sasha.  I am so head-over-heels in love with this boy.  Not just the dreamy "Oh, isn't he wonderful" kind of in love, but the intense, sometimes agonizing love a mother has for her child who needs help.  I want to get him home and help him start this new life of his.  What a massive task he is undertaking.  Two weeks from today, Curt and I will fly back to Donetsk.  It will be a long two weeks for Sasha.  We pray that Dec 9 will indeed be our Gotcha Day and that we will all be home as a family soon thereafter.

Got our Court Date!

Another GREAT day in Amvrosiivka.  Who knew this town of 25,000 people near the Russian border could be a source of such great news?

All of our paperwork on the Amvrosiivka side came together beautifully.  We were assigned a judge, and he provided our court date: December 9.  This is unless the paperwork cannot be processed through Kiev that quickly.  In that case it would be postponed.  Victor is hopeful.  In our petition, we have requested a waiver of the ten day waiting period, as we are reuniting the family and we have a well-established relationship with Sasha.  We really want Sasha home for Christmas!

Yesterday we'd told Sasha that we'd come see him today, and again when we got to the orphanage around 4:00 he was waiting for us by the door.  We had a great talk with him and he helped us make arrangements to see Slavek, the oldest brother, tomorrow in Donetsk before we fly out.  Sasha will get to go to Donetsk with us.  I treasure every second with him.  Victor really likes Sasha, too.  What a special kid.

As much as I like our hotel, the little cafe off the lobby is, um, not our favorite.  As much as I've enjoyed our time here in Amvrosiivka, it isn't exactly busting with restaurant options.  After three consecutive meh meals at our hotel's cafe, tonight we asked the cab driver to take us to the nicest restaurant in town.  He took us to a dark back alleyway with no signs and knocked on a steel door. (!)  A woman unlocked it and let us in. It was a restaurant!  We were the only people there, but a nice lady came out and told us what she could offer us: borscht, salad, chicken with potatoes.  I just went with the borscht; the guys went for the whole shebang.  And what do you know, it was GOOD.  The borscht had no beets but lots of cabbage.  Still amazingly good.  How do these Ukrainians make vegetable soup taste so good?  It was served with a plate of raw garlic cloves and hot chilis.  Delicious!  I need to get on the borscht wagon at home.

So tomorrow is shaping up to be another great day.  I get lots of time with Sasha, I finally get to meet the fourth brother in person, I get to see Anya and Den, and I get to fly away to Munich for the night with my Hus.

Our next flight is already booked!  Thanks for all the prayers and well-wishes.

The Day We'd Been Waiting For

It was all worth it.  To see Sasha SO happy today and so sure of what he wants for his future made all of the heartache of the past week, and maybe even the past year, worthwhile.  And I tell you, there's been heartache.  But now, this unbelievably smart, intuitive, observant, determined, charming, nurturing, brave young man will be a Powell soon.  How blessed we all are.

Curt, Victor and I left Kiev around 8:00 last night on the sleeper train.  I love the sleeper train.  I really do.  Yeah, the bathrooms are gnarly, but you get to make up your own little fort and be rocked (sometimes quite violently) to sleep.  We went first class this time, which was even cooler than usual.  Curt and I had a compartment to ourselves, the window shades were nicer, there was a working outlet, mirrors, and the tea was free.  Yippee!

When our joyride was over, we went into Donetsk to meet Vladimir for breakfast.  Vladimir is the director of the Amvrosiivka orphanage and a good friend of ours; he stayed at our house for five weeks this summer when we hosted Sasha.  Vladimir speaks about as much English as we speak Russian, but we have fun trying to communicate.  With Victor around to translate, we were able to have some more meaningful conversations today.

We all drove to Amvrosiivka together.  They've fixed the road!  Sort of, anyway.  Patched it.  It's still pretty scary at times but it's not as bad as it used to be.  I'd spent a lot of time on the train praying for specific things to go our way today; I hadn't even considered mentioning the road.  What a bonus!

We went into Amvrosiivka's version of the bleak communist era government building to meet with a few people.  We first chatted with the Chief of Juvenile Services.  She made what just might be the kindest gesture I've experienced here in Ukraine.  She knew we'd just traveled from Kiev.  Before getting too deep into discussion, she asked if we needed to use the bathroom.  If you've been through this adoption process before, you know how meaningful that is!  Bathrooms are hard to come by in those buildings, and many times it's just not appropriate to ask where they are.  When I told her Yes, thank you, this kind woman offered me a roll of toilet paper (!!!!) and a hand towel to dry my hands.  What a saint.

Our next meeting was with the mayor.  Yes, the mayor of Amvrosiivka.  It’s a small town, and he likes to personally interview all of the potential adoptive parents.  What an interesting concept!  I think I like it.  We got along well.

It was going to be awhile before our paperwork was ready to take to the orphanage so we checked into our hotel. *Nice* new hotel, in little ol’ Amvrosiivka.  Who woulda thought.  There’s even wifi, as you’ve probably figured out.  Hotel Druzhba.

After a few minutes’ rest, we went back out to the car, collected the correct official from the local gloomy government building, and finally headed to the orphanage.  I’d been texting Sasha this week to let him know our status, so he was expecting us today.  In fact, he was waiting for us by the doorway!  I wonder how long he’d been standing there.  J  He was dressed up in a sweater and nice jeans and a HUGE smile that rarely left his face. What a beautiful sight. I flashed back to my visits here with Sasha almost exactly a year ago and relished in how much he’s changed. What a difference hope and love can make.

All of the appropriate people gathered in Vladimir’s office to go through the protocol with Sasha: Do you know these people?  Do you want to be adopted by them and live in America?  Sasha did not hesitate with his answers: “Dah.”  “Dah.”  That meeting wrapped up quickly, then Curt and I had some time with just Sasha.  Victor came in and out to help translate and chat with Sasha a bit.  Sasha told us that he can understand everything we say, he just can’t respond in English yet.  It will happen quickly, no doubt.  He’s a SMART cookie.  I just kept hugging him and hugging him, and he kept smiling and smiling.

We’ll spend some more time with Sasha tomorrow, then Anya and Den (yay!) will pick us up and take us to Donetsk, where we have a few errands to run, including catching a plane back to the States.

Overall, I am feeling very much at peace right now.  Yes, this adoption process can be extremely stressful and Ukraine can be harsh.  But the payoff is huge.  We all know that there are challenges ahead; different challenges than we’re facing with Eli and Isaac, but we feel equipped to take them on. How could we not?   Look at what God has done so far with this journey!  It’s such an honor to play a part in this beautiful testimony of His power, mercy, and love.

Don't Stand in Front of the Door

Ukraine.  I'm ready to go home.  Both Curt and I are feeling frustrated.  Frustrated that we can't plan anything, we have absolutely no control over what is happening and don't understand the conversations going on around and about us.  The framework for our court date keeps shifting, and that really doesn't jive well with Curt's work schedule.  OR Christmas plans.  I really don't want to spend my Christmas in Ukraine but it's looking more and more likely.

The atmosphere here was summed up neatly this morning at the notary office.  I had been ushered into a hallway and was trying to find an out-of-the-way space to park myself when a door swung open and hit me in the shoulder.  The woman who had opened the door said something to me in Ukrainian.  Assuming it was something like "I'm sorry," I smiled and nodded.  Victor then translated for me: "Don't stand in front of the door."  How sweet.

We are resting up at the apartment now, packing and gearing up for the overnight train.  We'll make a quick stop at the SDA to pick up our referral on the way.  We're ready to move on, out of the big city.  The traffic here is insane.  Some of the worst I've seen.

Yikes, I'm complaining a lot here.  The good news: we get to see SASHA tomorrow!  I hope he is as excited to see us as we are to see him.  We are praying that our paperwork moves smoothly in Amvrosiivka and that the overall picture will come into focus quickly.  I pray that Sasha will have peace about leaving everything he knows and starting a whole new life at age 16.  He continues to say that this is what he wants, but it's about to get real for him.

This may be my last post for awhile; we don't know where we are staying in Amvrosiivka and wifi will be unlikely.

SDA Appointment

Day 1 of the nitty-gritty...

The day started with our 11:00am appointment at the State Department of Adoptions, or SDA.  Maria is the go-to person there.  She processed our papers last year.  When we met with her today, she asked about Eli and Isaac and wanted to see pictures.  I showed her one with all five kids, from when Sasha was here this summer.  Maria smiled and smiled.  She looked over our dossier and apologized to us.  She was on vacation in early September when Victor submitted our dossier.  We should have gotten our SDA appointment right away since we are reuniting siblings, she said.  Whoever processed our dossier missed that fact and put us at the back of the line.  That explains a lot, but it's hard to hear.  If things had gone as they were supposed to, we'd have Sasha at home already, instead of doing this now, during the holidays.  Sasha wouldn't have had to spend these extra weeks/months here in Ukraine when he so desperately wanted to come home.  But, it is what it is.  Overall the SDA appointment went well, and we will return tomorrow afternoon to pick up the referral.

Today's agenda also included a quick visit to the US Embassy and purchasing train tickets.  With the typical snags, moments of panic, and horrendous traffic, our work day finally concluded around 5:00.

This is our last night in Kiev.  Tomorrow we will take the overnight train to Donetsk, then immediately drive to Amvrosiivka to see Sasha and start processing paperwork there.  It's quite a big leap culturally from America to Kiev.  From my perspective, it's almost as big a leap again from Kiev to the Donetsk region, especially the smaller towns like Amvrosiivka.

We are off to test out a varenike restaurant and process the events of the day.  I will try to blog tomorrow before we leave the apartment, but we will likely not have internet access in Amvrosiivka, so you may not hear from us again until we hit Munich on our way back.

Gearing up for the Real Fun

I am now fully and completely in Ukraine:  I took a shower here.  I held out as long as I could, but I finally reached the point where I decided I'd be cleaner if I bathed in Ukrainian water than if I didn't.  Funny how taking that first shower was so symbolic for me; like, if I didn't, I would have just been passing through.  Nope, I really am here now.  Fully submerged.

Personal history aside, I'm reminded what a cool city Kiev is, especially when it isn't a thousand degrees below zero.  Not that we explored all that much today.  We slept, got up to eat, slept some more, got up to check the clock, and slept some more.  Then we did a puzzle.  :)  We both feel rested and ready to take the next step.

A friend back home hooked us up with another couple from Oklahoma who is here in Kiev.  We had a great time with them at dinner tonight.  For the record, dinner for me was borscht, for the second day in a row.  It's hard to go wrong here with borscht.  Curt had this awesome dish with sausage, onion, potato, and mushroom called Hunger Kaput.  I love the menu translations here.

Tomorrow will be a busier day, beginning with our SDA appointment.  Victor will lead the charge.  We'll pick up our referral on Wednesday, then take the train to Donetsk Wed night.  We'll see Sasha on Thursday.   Then leave him a couple of days later.  I know all the red tape and delays are part of the process, but this is going to be so hard, jumping back and forth, always being separated from at least one of my children.

A SERIOUS Case of the Deja Vus

And that's not necessarily good.  The adoption process last year with Eli and Isaac was tremendously stressful.  I can't believe we are here, doing this all over again.  I know, it should be easier this time around, but that doesn't change the fact that I have emotional traumas associated with this place.  Nothing compared to the emotional traumas my boys have endured, but it's still hard for me to return.

Having said that, Kiev is a beautiful, fascinating city, and we are staying right in the heart of it.  Our apartment for the next 3.5 days is half a block off Independence Square.  We won't get lost!  This is the nicest apartment I've seen in Ukraine (for the whopping fee of $85/night).  Curt and I are trying to couch this as a romantic getaway.

The flight wasn't too terrible.  Everything was on time and there was no drama.  I love the German airports and always enjoy our layovers in Munich, or as with today (yesterday?), Frankfurt.  It was good to see Victor's smiling face when we got through customs in Kiev.  We had our first dill-laced meal, are stocked up with what we need, and plan to have a lazy day tomorrow before our SDA appointment on Tuesday.  Prayers for a speedy and smooth process are always appreciated!

Four Days to Blast Off

FINALLY.  We leave for Kiev on Saturday.  I am very excited, but I'm dreading this trip at the same time.  Picturing going through this whole process again is drudging up all sorts of bad memories.  My heart stops whenever I think of the cold, hard stares, the language issues, traveling on those dangerous roads, the filthy apartments, the bracing cold, the toxic air and water, the lack of hope and joy, and the horrifying conditions that our brothers and sisters live in.  It will serve as a convincing reminder of how good my life is.

Of course I am eager to see Sasha and bring him home, but now that we're ready to sign the final papers and book that one way flight for him to Tulsa, that part is a bit nerve-wracking, too.  I had a pastor friend in San Diego who used to talk about doing "the next right thing."  Don't look too far ahead, he'd say, because it will look like too big of a mountain to climb and it will freak you out.  Just make the next right decision.  God's word is a lamp unto our feet (Psalm 119:105); a lamp doesn't illuminate the entire journey, just the next step or two.  This philosophy is what got Curt and me through our marathon ordeal in Ukraine last year.  Likewise with Sasha, Curt and I have done our best to align ourselves with God's word so that we can hear His voice and trust that He is leading us to make the next right decisions.  That series of (hopefully) right decisions has led us here: to the brink of adopting a fifth child, a 16 year old boy who is much more experienced in the world than his brothers.  I have said before that I believe in my heart that Sasha IS our child, but now it's about to be real.  He'll be living in our house; a part of our daily lives and our hearts.  He'll create a whole new identity for himself as a Powell.  This will be a monumentally difficult adjustment for him, but one he seems eager to take on.  I pray that all seven of us are ready for this.

Are we packed?  Almost.  Loose ends are being tied up, arrangements are being made.  Hopefully we really will fly back to Tulsa in time for Thanksgiving (I'm hosting! lol) with a court date set for the following week in Ukraine.  Anyone need a test subject for a sleep deprivation study? :)

Moving On!

I have been remiss. Our dossier was approved a few weeks ago. Whew. Then, a few days ago, we got our SDA appointment date: November 19. Whew again.  Things are happening, wheels are turning!  Slowly, but we'll take it.  We are glad that we can now PLAN.

We're hoping to do things differently this time. No one-way ticket with no return date in focus. Curt and I are flying to Kiev Nov 16, which should get us to the SDA appointment with a little time to spare.  We'll do our business in Kiev, travel to Donetsk and Amvrosiivka to see Sasha and sign a few hundred papers, then we are GOING HOME. I can't miss Thanksgiving at home two years in a row. We will fly back to Donetsk in time for our court date, which *should* be more predictable this time around.  I might even fly home with Curt after the court date and return to Ukraine when the waiting period is over.   Sasha and I can wrap things up and fly home, hopefully before Christmas.  One Ukrainian winter is enough for me.

Of course, having said all this, James 4 comes to mind:

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:13-15 NIV)

I  need frequent reminders that I am not in charge here. I am trying to trust that God is in control and He will deliver.  It's hard when it seems so obvious that Sasha needs to come home asap!

News from Ukraine

I'm going to rant here a little bit.

Victor submitted our dossier to the State Department of Adoptions (SDA) today.  With the ban on Russian adoptions, Ukraine is seeing a lot more dossiers, and the SDA is being very picky about the paperwork, rejecting about 40% of the dossiers submitted.  With this in mind, Victor has been going over our paperwork with a fine toothed comb and having us make changes that seem insignificant to us.  Finally, after several adjustments, Victor took our dossier to the SDA.  When he submitted it, he said the SDA official really didn't like our OSBI police clearance form.  It has all of the correct information, but we paid the fee to the OSBI by credit card.  Our credit card number was on the form, so the OSBI official used a Sharpie to hide our credit card information.  The SDA doesn't like the black mark, and our dossier may be rejected.

Wait, it gets worse.  If our dossier is rejected, the SDA will keep several of the forms.  In order to re-submit our dossier, we will need to gather new copies of these official documents and have them notarized and apostilled.  This will take lots of time.

Our dossier has not yet been rejected so I reserve the right to retract my rant.  Ukraine claims it wants to keep orphaned siblings together.  This is why "breaking the family," legally separating Eli and Isaac from Sasha, was so difficult and time-consuming when we spent our nine weeks in Ukraine last year.  But hadn't the system already "broken the family" when they moved the brothers to separate orphanages years ago?  Where was the outcry about that?  The Ukrainian government can separate siblings as they see fit, but if foreigners come in and want to adopt one or two of those siblings, NOOOOO, you can't break the family!  So now, we want to reunite these brothers, which is what the government claims is its ultimate goal, and they are going to reject our petition because our credit card information is crossed off on one of the dozens of documents they require.  Absurd.

Summer's Over

School starts in four days.  It's been a very busy summer!  Eli and Isaac had frequent tutoring sessions, Eli, Isaac, Cassie and Clay all had extended swim practices and meets, plus of course, Sasha was here for much of it.  It's time to shift gears now and get ready for school.  More will be expected of Eli and Isaac in school this year.  The boys have worked very hard with us and their tutors this summer, and their reading skills are coming right along.  Progress, of course, begets confidence.  The boys are ready for the new challenges ahead.

The boys are also learning a lot about accountability, being aware of what's going on around them, making decisions, and being responsible for themselves by keeping track of the clock and being ready on time.  Coming from a place where they had no control over their environment, this is a big adjustment.

Sasha.  We miss him dearly, and he misses us.  Our dossier is on it's way to Ukraine.  We pray that our petition will be approved, our SDA appointment will come quickly, and that we will all be reunited soon.  This is very hard on all of us.

Sasha Update

We're due for an update, aren't we?

Sasha was here.  He spent five weeks with us here in Tulsa, through Ukrainian Resource Center's Orphan Hosting Program.  There is so much to say, I'm not sure where to start.  I'm just going to be real: I knew Sasha was my child the first day I met him, in December in Ukraine.  It was heart-wrenching to see him in the state he was in at the time, and even harder to be separated from him those next six months, knowing the turmoil he was in.

Say you give birth to a boy.  You love him, nurture him, and guide him as he grows into a young man.  Now take all those emotions you would have felt over the course of sixteen years and unleash them all at once.  Sixteen years worth of love in each "I love you."  Sixteen years worth of hugs in every hug.  Sixteen years worth of hurts you've been unable to protect him from.  It's horrifying and beautiful at the same time.  This is a fierce kind of love I could have never imagined.

No matter what happens, Sasha will always be my child in my heart.  We are processing paperwork to officially adopt him, as he wants to be here with his brothers and his new American family, but we know to take nothing for granted.  We are praying that the right doors will open and that Sasha will finally be HOME for good.

Easter at the Powell House

We had a wonderful first Easter as a family of six.  Grandma Dee came out from Indiana, so we celebrated as a family of seven.

Ready for church

Easter egg hunt

                                                                                          Look UP, Isaac!  In the tree!

Setting the ground rules for making varenike

This egg dying thing was all new

         

Some devious looking smiles!