Four Days to Blast Off

FINALLY.  We leave for Kiev on Saturday.  I am very excited, but I'm dreading this trip at the same time.  Picturing going through this whole process again is drudging up all sorts of bad memories.  My heart stops whenever I think of the cold, hard stares, the language issues, traveling on those dangerous roads, the filthy apartments, the bracing cold, the toxic air and water, the lack of hope and joy, and the horrifying conditions that our brothers and sisters live in.  It will serve as a convincing reminder of how good my life is.

Of course I am eager to see Sasha and bring him home, but now that we're ready to sign the final papers and book that one way flight for him to Tulsa, that part is a bit nerve-wracking, too.  I had a pastor friend in San Diego who used to talk about doing "the next right thing."  Don't look too far ahead, he'd say, because it will look like too big of a mountain to climb and it will freak you out.  Just make the next right decision.  God's word is a lamp unto our feet (Psalm 119:105); a lamp doesn't illuminate the entire journey, just the next step or two.  This philosophy is what got Curt and me through our marathon ordeal in Ukraine last year.  Likewise with Sasha, Curt and I have done our best to align ourselves with God's word so that we can hear His voice and trust that He is leading us to make the next right decisions.  That series of (hopefully) right decisions has led us here: to the brink of adopting a fifth child, a 16 year old boy who is much more experienced in the world than his brothers.  I have said before that I believe in my heart that Sasha IS our child, but now it's about to be real.  He'll be living in our house; a part of our daily lives and our hearts.  He'll create a whole new identity for himself as a Powell.  This will be a monumentally difficult adjustment for him, but one he seems eager to take on.  I pray that all seven of us are ready for this.

Are we packed?  Almost.  Loose ends are being tied up, arrangements are being made.  Hopefully we really will fly back to Tulsa in time for Thanksgiving (I'm hosting! lol) with a court date set for the following week in Ukraine.  Anyone need a test subject for a sleep deprivation study? :)