A Couple of Photos

Things are going fine.  Lots of bike riding today, despite the coolish temps.  30 degrees Fahrenheit is NOT cold for Ukrainians.  

Isaac sure adores his big sister.  It's so cute to watch them together.  We got a phone call today from the Warners!  It was great for me to talk with John and Donna.  There is a special kinship amongst adoptive parents, especially when the kids are from the same orphanage.  And of course the boys loved talking with their old friends Vladik and Dima.  

Tonight I'm taking the boys to Cassie and Clay's swim practice.  Our SwimTulsa family has been very supportive of this adoption and I'm sure Eli and Isaac will be the center of attention.  :)  

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all of my friends and family out there, in case I haven't been able to tell you in person.

Isaac and Eli have had a wonderful first Christmas.  Curt is on call today, so we opened presents last night after dinner.  I didn't know if Isaac would make it.  Sometime yesterday morning, he figured out that all the presents under the tree had names on them, and that some of them had HIS name!  He kept showing me, Grandma, or anyone else who would listen all of the presents and who they were to and from.  It seems shaking presents is an inherent trait.

I took some Melatonin last night and actually slept really well until about 7:30 when a little Ukrainian boy woke me up with "Mama Papa come on!  CHRISTMAS!"  Oh they were so excited to see the bikes that Santa had brought them.  The rest of the day has been filled with playing and preparing/eating a wonderful Christmas dinner.  And a nap for me.  I feel like I am finally starting to wind down from the way-to-long adrenaline rush I've been on.

I sure hope the boys understand that all of these gifts and celebrations are not typical!  "Wow, life in America is so much fun!" they must be thinking.  The first doctor appointment is Thursday, so that should bring some reality back to their world.

Enjoy the photos.

Day 2

I'm really not planning to keep posting every day but a lot is still going on here and I know some of you want to stay in the loop.

We went to the Christmas service at church today, which is pretty new for us as we are usually out of town around Christmas time.  I haven't been to our church in a really long time, and with the boys sitting/standing beside me, it was an extra special day.  I am so thankful that we have such a wonderful church home.  Ronnie, I don't know if you are reading the blog, but the music today was spectacular!!

Coming home so close to Christmas is a wonderful thing, on the whole.  It's great that so many out-of-town family members are able to come visit and get to know Isaac and Eli, plus I have so much HELP.   It's a bit confusing for the boys, though.  Nana and Papo left for New Mexico today.  My brother Joel and his family arrived a few hours later.  My mom will be here for a couple of weeks.  We got to talk with Anya today (yay!) and she tells me that the boys think that they all live here in our house.  It's a difficult thing to explain that this is not normal, and that in a couple of weeks we will get into our regular routine, which will not be nearly as exciting.  It's been Christmas morning for the boys the past 48 hours and they are still not sleeping much.

Speaking of sleeping, I'm not doing much of that either.  Jet lag, radar up for Isaac and Eli knowing they aren't sleeping well, thinking about Sasha...my mind just races when I lie down.  A sleeping pill may be in order tonight.

First Day at Home

Two happier boys you have never seen.

You'd think these boys would be tired after such a long day of traveling, right?  It's been a BUSY day.  Let's start with last night.  About 30 friends and family met us at the airport with signs, balloons, food, and gifts.  I was so exhausted and disoriented it was hard for me to process all the love and support.  I'm sure it was the same for the boys, but they never stopped smiling.

Tucking the boys into their warm, comfortable beds was the moment that made it all worthwhile.  They were smiling so big with such a look of peace and contentment.  "Mama," Eli said.  "No more Ukraine."  That's right, baby, no more Ukraine.

I had trouble sleeping last night and was up at 5:30 when I heard a crash coming from the boys' room.  I walked in just in time to see Isaac dive back into bed and stick his head under the covers.  Little rascal.  I don't know what the crash was but the boys were AWAKE.  "No sleep."  Again.  :)  I took them into the kitchen to give them a snack and show them the stocked pantry.  Oh, such glee!  Isaac stood in the middle of the pantry, waving his arms around, saying, "Good!  Good!"  We have spent the day eating, playing, getting to know the dogs, and exploring the house.  All four kids spent some time in the hot tub outside.  We were all delighted to see that Isaac and Elijah both love the water.  All of the men/boys went out to run some errands, and Isaac and Eli were welcomed warmly by everyone they encountered.  They are quite the celebrities.  :)

As you can see from the pictures, Isaac and Daphne already have a special relationship. All four kids are getting along beautifully.  I am so proud of Cassie and Clay; they have been wonderful about watching over Isaac and Eli to make sure everyone is safe and having fun.  I don't think it will take long for us all to get into a rhythm.  

For the record, I think Clay grew 2-3 inches while I was gone.

Home

I will write more tomorrow, but we are home. There was a welcome party of about 30 wonderful, thoughtful people waiting for us at the airport.  The boys I think are stunned but never stopped smiling.  What a moment it was to finally tuck them into their real beds.

Last Day!

The Lavra was SO beautiful.  It was worth risking frostbitten fingers to get these photos.  

Victor will pick us up at 3:00am.  Yep, 3:00am to take us to the airport.  I don't think the boys will sleep much tonight.  They are so excited!  I'll be seeing a lot of you at the airport in Tulsa.  See you on the other side!

The longest escalator I've ever seen

All Done! Or...Santa Claus is a Con Artist

No boring title today!  We went to the Embassy to pick up the boys' visas and immigration paperwork. During the (very friendly) final interview and signing all the FINAL papers, I found myself giggling.  It is DONE.  Victor will be here at 3:00am on Friday to take us to the airport.  In the meantime, we are having fun with Anya.  Today she took us to a new place called Ocean Plaza.  It's a beautiful, upscale mall with ocean-themed artwork and a gorgeous shark tank.  We had an early dinner at a seafood restaurant adjacent to the tank.  You can imagine how exciting it was for the boys to eat their meal while watching the fish swim by.

We stopped by Independence Square and walked through the Christmas market on the way back to the apartment.  Yes, it was cold, but it was worth it.  Once.  :)  As we walked back towards our apartment, we came across two very young, aggressive Santas.  They talked me into having the kids' picture taken with them for 20 hyrvnias (about $2.50).  Cheap!  They said.  The boys were excited about it.  Alright.  The Santas kept posing, encouraging us to take more photos.  You know what happened next, right?  Yes, they were counting the clicks and demanded 20 hyrvnias for each photo.  I gave them just a little extra and we walked away.

Tomorrow we will visit the Lavra.  When we get back we will PACK.  I am giddy.

Embassy Day

A gentleman actually held a door open for me today.  We are NOT in Donetsk anymore!  It's amazing how much a kind gesture like that matters.

This morning we got up early-ish for our 9:00 appointment at the US Embassy.  Victor AND Anya escorted us.  Well, they escorted us up to the front door of the Embassy.  Kayla, the boys and I were on our own from there.  It was fine, as we were kindly ushered through security and to the correct window, where a very friendly and helpful American woman accepted our paperwork and explained what we needed to do.  No pushing and shoving at the window, either...we had it all to ourselves!  How refreshing.

Although there was a lot of time spent in the taxi and waiting in lines, the boys' medical exams went smoothly.  By the time we got back to the apartment we were HUNGRY.  Anya went with us to a great Chinese restaurant right around the corner.  I wasn't willing to go much further than that because it was SO COLD.  With all the time I've spent in Canada in my lifetime, I've probably experienced this kind of cold before, but I'd blissfully forgotten.  

Anya will stay with us in our apartment until we leave early Friday morning.  We've all missed her.  It's been good to process all of the recent events with her, too.  Whatever am I going to do without her?

Some GOOD NEWS

Anya has the boys' passports in hand!  That was the last piece of the puzzle from the Donetsk region.  She will take the train to Kiev tonight so that we have all of our paperwork here for our 9:00am appointment at the US Embassy.  We are almost there!

In other news, it's COLD outside.

Sunday in Kiev

I love the fact that there has been so little going on the past two days that I have to use a generic title.

It's been a blissfully lazy day.  We went out once, to find a cafe for a late lunch.  We were hoping to explore a little more and find Independence Square, but it is bitterly cold.  Like -5 F windchill.  Too cold for a couple of sickies to be walking around.  Unfortunately it's only supposed to get colder the next few days so we may not see much of Kiev.  At least we have the wonderful view so we're not completely cut off from the beautiful city.

Not much planned for tomorrow either and I'm okay with that.

Saturday in Kiev

It was an early morning and dragging the boys out of bed was a challenge.  Victor picked us up at 7:45 to take us to his son's pediatrician so he could check out Isaac, who has had an increasingly worse cough.  Saying that the Ukrainian hospital we visited is different that our pediatrician's office at home is the understatement of the year.  (Shout out to Joan.)  The doctor was confident that Isaac's lungs were clear and wrote out instructions for treating this simple cold.  I'll feel better when he's not coughing so much.  Same for me, too--we must have the same virus.

On our way to see the doctor, Victor drove us by some of the city's treasures.  Early on a Saturday morning, it was pretty quiet.  The snow and ice shimmering on the tops of the golden domes was breathtaking.  All the Christmas decorations in Independence Square must be quite a sight after dark.  Hopefully we'll get to see the city at night (beyond our wonderful opera house view).  It is supposed to be VERY cold here as the week goes on, and with Isaac and me not feeling 100%, it doesn't seem smart to go exploring too far.

After a trip to the grocery store and a quick lunch, Victor helped us buy tickets for the circus.  The circus is not really my thing, and the Ukrainian circus is even more not my thing, but the boys seemed to enjoy it.  At least it was a circus in a literal sense and not adoption-related drama.  I was drawing parallels in my mind, though.

We are now back at the apartment for the night.  Kayla and I put together a simple yet pretty awesome dinner (I love cooking with my awesome sis in law), so now we're just relaxing and enjoying the stunning view out our window.  Looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow.

Photos: First Day in Kiev

View from our apartment

New Chapter: Kiev

Kiev.  What a beautiful city, especially under a thick blanket of snow.  I think I like Lviv a touch more, but they are very different.  Our apartment location is wonderful, overlooking the Opera House.  The apartment is very spacious, but not as clean as our Donetsk apartment.  The beds are certainly more comfortable, though.  I can't believe I spent what...six weeks on that awful bed?  No wonder I'm behind on sleep.  Okay, there may be other factors involved with the exhaustion.

The train ride last night was pretty miserable.  It was the "fast train," seven hours instead of the eleven hour sleeper train.  The train was new so it was much nicer with great bathrooms, but if given the choice again, I'd take the sleeper so I could lie down.  We shouldn't have to make that trip again, but the way this process has gone, I won't relax until we land in America.

Isaac has been coughing for several days but last night it got remarkably worse.  We're throwing everything at it we can, but may take him to a dr this afternoon.  It hasn't gotten him down too much--his sweet, mischievous personality hasn't been compromised.

We went out for awhile this morning to get some food and check out the neighborhood a little.  Oh my heavens the people here are so much friendlier than in/around Donetsk.  Night and day.  Being a large capital city they are more accustomed to international travelers, I'm sure.  Plus it's much less "Russian" here.  It's amazing what a difference that makes.  It's so hard to get geared up to go out knowing I'm likely to face hostility.

I'm not that concerned about getting lost as we wander, as we can always jump in a cab and sing a bar or two of opera to get us home.  It's supposed to be cold but pretty dry for the rest of our time here.  I'm fine with that.  We have nothing on our to-do list until Tuesday.  It will be so nice to go at our own pace and explore this wonderful city leisurely.

Sasha Update

Today was one of those Trusting God days. In a really big way. 

I didn't want to say anything about this until it was done, since so much was up in the air and I wasn't sure it would materialize.  Kayla, Victor and I drove to Amvrosivka to talk with Sasha.  I feel we have done what we can to show him he is loved and that he matters to us. The ball is in his court now.  Please pray with us that he can tune out the bad influences in his life and make good decisions, one at a time.  

The good news is that his orphanage is a wonderful one, if there can be such a thing. The facility is very comfortable and modern and the staff that I've gotten to know over several visits is warm, kind, and concerned about the kids. I am confident that they will work with us to help Sasha however they can.  There is a lovely deputy director here that I hug at the end of each visit. She doesn't speak a word of English but communicates great love, patience, and peace. After the meeting with Sasha, Kayla and I had some time to kill while Victor met with someone else. This lovely lady took Kayla and me up to her office and had tea/coffee with us. As Kayla and I processed the emotion from the meeting, this lady's sweet, understanding smile was very calming. "horisho, horisho," she kept saying.  "It will be okay, it will be okay."

The weather forecast for today had been 1-2 inches of snow by the end of the day, but at least that much was on the ground when we woke up. It kept falling and falling, all day long. As you can imagine, Ukraine, especially rural Ukraine, is not all that quick with the snow plows. I've experienced some harrowing car rides in my life, many of them with Sasha (different Sasha, of course) behind the wheel, but this one was no doubt the worst. The road to Amvrosivka scares me like no other in good weather; with 6-8 inches of snow on the ground and low visibility, it's enough to induce continuous prayer.  I'm glad Kayla was with me, because I'm sure I would have chickened out and demanded we turn around without her reminders of why we were doing this. 

With the weather conditions and resultant traffic in the cities, we were cutting it close with getting to the train on time. Fortunately, Kayla and I had enough foresight to pack our bags as much as possible before we left. Anya, who stayed with the boys, did a marvelous job of packing everything up, checking out of the apartment, and getting the boys to the train station. We got on the train with three minutes to spare. 

So, as I sit here on the train, still processing all the events of the day, I am thankful for God's protection.  There is no doubt he was watching over us today.  I am thankful that the Donetsk chapter of this process is over and that one week from this moment we will be packing for our ultimate trip home.  I am thankful that Kayla is here. These last few days have been extremely challenging and emotional, and having her to confide in, encourage me, keep the boys busy and break the tension when needed has been more helpful than I could have imagined.  

I am praying that God will speak to Sasha in a way he can hear and that Sasha will make good decisions, as his life is at a turning point.  I pray that there will be no more drama as we spend this last week in Kiev.  I pray that the boys, Kayla and I will have a chance to relax, have some fun, and prepare for entry/re-entry to America. 

Last Full Day in Donetsk

Today's drama:  you ready?  Eli scared the heck out of us after having his blood drawn.  He was very nervous about the procedure and held his breath through the whole thing.  Afterwards, he obviously didn't feel well and needed a doctor to check him out.  After explaining the details to Curt, he suggested it was a vagal response.  (Look it up if you don't know.  I had to.)  Eli was fine a few minutes later, but it was really scary for a little while.  At least we know, and hopefully we can prevent it from happening again.

The boys applied for passports.  Easy peasy.

Our water is out again.  :/

We are leaving for Kiev tomorrow afternoon.  I was all excited to go to "my" grocery store for the last time and say goodbye to Somewhat Friendly Checker this afternoon, but she was not there.  I instead got Very Unfriendly Checker and she scolded me for not putting the correct sticker on the poppy seed rolls.  No poppy seed rolls for you!

Den and Anya will be here soon to take us all out.  They'll show us around town since the Christmas lights are up and Kayla hasn't seen much of Donetsk.  We will see Anya in Kiev, but this will be our last hurrah with Den.  As eager as I am to get home, it will be very hard to say goodbye to him.  I said goodbye to Ben and Angela on the phone today.  Also very difficult, especially since I was hoping to see them again before we left but Ben has been pretty sick.

It's great having Kayla here.  The boys are stuck to her like glue.  :)

I doubt I'll be able to post tomorrow so don't worry if you don't hear from us for a while.

The Home Stretch

What an exhausting day.  I knew it would be rough, but I didn't sleep well last night and the fumes/pollution in Enakievo REALLY affected me this morning, so everything seemed that much worse.  We did get a lot done, though.  The boys are officially checked out of the orphanage.  They never ever ever have to return.  We also have the boys' new birth certificates.  They have their American names and Curt and I are listed as the parents.  We are bulletproof now.

Tomorrow we do blood tests and apply for passports.  We have a few other things on our to-do list but we hope to be on a train to Kiev with Victor Thursday late afternoon.  Anya will bring our passports to Kiev when they are completed.  That gives us some play time in Kiev!  Victor said it's dressed up nicely for Christmas.  After being here in Donetsk for so long, it's surprisingly bittersweet to think about packing up and leaving for good.

The boys, naturally, are having a wonderful time with Auntie Kayla.  I knew they would, but it is surprising me just how freely they are loving and trusting her.  They are going to have a very special relationship with her, I can tell.

Welcome to Ukraine?!

Oh my, oh my, oh my.  I really don't know how to post about this.  We've had some strange, absurd happenings here on this journey, but today's just might be the most bizarre.

Eli, Isaac, Den, Anya and I were at the airport, waiting for Kayla's plane to arrive when Anya got a phone call from Victor.  We had to get to Enakievo NOW.  A very distant relative of Eli and Isaac's, a woman they don't even know who has never been to visit them at the orphanage, was causing a huge commotion about the adoption.  She did not get to the courthouse in time to file a formal protest, but as soon as we gathered up Kayla and her things, we zipped up to Uglegorsk to listen to this woman's nonsensical rant.  She made all sorts of absurd and contradictory claims and threats.  This was VERY upsetting to the boys, of course, who witnessed the whole thing.  The staff eventually threw this woman out, but sweet, patient Den tried his hardest to reason with her out in the cold.  Yes, Kayla, who had been traveling for about 24 hours, was along for the ride.  And what a ride it was.

Have I mentioned that I kinda like Anya and Den?  They handled the whole thing so beautifully, as did the Uglegorsk staff.

In case you're wondering, there's nothing this woman can do except make noise.  She doesn't even seem to know what she wants--her demands were all over the place.  It doesn't matter because our court documents were all signed and official at 5:00pm today--congratulations to us!

We finally came back to the apartment around 9:00 to find that the water was out.  Just making sure we'll remember this day, right?

Тетя Kayla Will Be Here Soon!

Not a whole lot to report today.  The boys are at church with Anya.  I've been fighting off a migraine today and the idea of some quiet time was too good to pass up.

Kayla arrives tomorrow afternoon.  The boys are so excited about meeting their Auntie!

Bright and early Tuesday we'll be off to the races.  Kayla and Anya will stay here with the boys while Victor and I take a tour of Eastern Ukraine.  Again.  Victor told me to be ready at 6:30 am and we will not have lunch.  Oy.  We'll pick up our court docs in Enakievo, then go to Makeevka to deal with birth certificates, then back to Enakievo, then some other stuff...I kinda stopped listening.  Then Wednesday is passports and checking the boys out of the orphanage for good, I think.  There's more to do but planning that far ahead in Ukraine is pointless.  We'll be heading to Kiev sometime this week, or weekend, or Monday...we'll see.  Depends on a few things.  Our flights home are booked for Dec 21.  5:55am and I'm okay with that!

I can't believe things are finally wrapping up.  Just when I get a routine down with a somewhat friendly checker at the grocery store...

What You Can Do

I've had several people ask me what they can do to help give these orphans in Ukraine a hope and future.  Resources for them are thin.  Fortunately, I've had the chance to get to know Ben and Angela with SOS Mission.  They are from Australia.  Their focus here in the Donetsk region is to help prepare teens for life outside the orphanage.  It's a very rough transition.  As bad as life in the orphanage is, it's exponentially worse in the trade schools.  If you visit SOS Mission's facebook page you'll find a recent article, translated to English, describing what life is like for these children.  It's just unthinkable.  Ben and Angela do what they can to educate the soon-to-graduate kids so they can weather the storm and stay away from the most common pitfalls.  Uglegorsk is one of the orphanages that Ben and Angela routinely visit.  You can learn more about their work on the SOS Mission facebook page.  If you'd like to support the work that they are doing, you can make a donation to SOS Mission.  They have an account with Bank of America.  You can go to any BoA branch and deposit cash or write a check to their account.  You have my word that the money will be spent wisely.

From Ben: 
Max (the director at SOS Mission) has an account with the Bank of America. Account number 46248795 in the name of Maksym Kolosov. If someone makes a donation ask them to write "Jocelyn" in the description and send a message to SOS Mission over Facebook so we can identify it and allocate it to the kids at Uglegorsk.

You could also give to Ukrainian Resource Center (URC).  This is the American organization that we used to help facilitate our adoption.  They also run a hosting program and provide financial assistance for families wanting to adopt.  Ukrainian Resource Center

I do not recommend sending money directly to the orphanages.  There is little accountability and no guarantee that the money would go towards helping the kids.  It's tricky to get these kids the help they so desperately need.

If you really feel called, of course you can host an orphan through URC, or consider adoption.  I'd love to talk with you if you have questions about either of those possibilities.

Quick Note about Sasha

Yesterday really threw us for a loop.  I've said that before, haven't I?  I wasn't expecting to see that kind of bond between the three brothers.  They've been separated for a long time, and before we saw Sasha, Eli and Isaac insisted that they didn't know their brother and no one would be sad about saying goodbye.  After talking with Sasha, it seems his troubles we'd heard about stem from his wanting to be loved and accepted.  He turns 16 this summer, and when asked, he does not have a plan.

So here we are.  What do we do now?  Pray.  Pray hard.  We are also researching our options.  We want to help Sasha but haven't yet figured out what that looks like.  I wish that lamp unto our feet were a little brighter.

Sasha

I think the photos tell the whole story.  

Photos from Uglegorsk

My new friend Vitaliy

Misha and Vova

Den and Den!

Kostya and Vova love making faces for the camera

Denis with Eli

Silly boys :)

Cake!