We did not see Sasha today. We were on our way to see him when we got word that we HAD to go to Uglegorsk today--we could not see the kids there tomorrow. I have many positive characteristics but flexibility is not one of them. I was mentally prepared to see Sasha. I was not mentally prepared to go back to Uglegorsk. We had no choice, though. We finishing buying what we needed for Eli and Isaac's goodbye party and drove to Uglegorsk. Naturally, Anya called Sasha's orphanage to let them know we will be coming tomorrow. With all the disappointments these kids experience, I hate to add to them. Hopefully we can make it up to Sasha tomorrow.
I've been to Uglegorsk several times now and it never ceases to shock me. The conditions these kids live in are just appalling. The kids are so dirty. And so sick. It may have just been a typical respiratory virus, but there were lots of kids with nasty sounding coughs. And of course there's no one to comfort them or wrap them up in a blanket or make them chicken soup or give them any medications to make them feel better. I spent a LOT of time tonight with Vitaliy. He's about to turn 14. He's a tall, athletic kid. He knows more English than most kids at Uglegorsk--I'm not sure how or where he learned it but it sure was fun to talk with him. He cracked me up at first. He sat down next to me and asked me, "What is your name?" In English! I told him, then asked him the same question. He looked at me blankly and said. "Ya-na-pa-neh-my-oo" (I don't understand). lol Whenever I would stand up to say hello to someone else, Vitaliy would pat the chair and say, "Sit down, please?" How could I resist? He proudly showed me several open wounds on his arms and legs. "Football" he would say, smiling. He had a nasty looking sore on the palm of his hand. Even though I WAS NOT PREPARED for Uglegorsk, I did manage to find some wet wipes and band aids in my purse. I cleaned out the sore as best I could, then put a band aid on it. I don't think Vitaliy had ever seen one before. He later told Eli that I had taken care of him and that he was going to keep the band aid because it smelled good. Vitaliy was one of the kids with a nasty cough. He sounded so awful. At one point I couldn't bear it any more and I started rubbing his back. I wish I could have read his mind. Judging by his body language I think it was comforting to him.
Statistically, these orphans, mostly boys at Uglegorsk, will fill Ukraine's prisons and gutters in a few years. Sometimes I feel like I'm on solid ground, watching dozens of people drown. I only have two life preservers. I can save those two, but I have to look all the others in the eye as I do it.
I'm sure you're wondering how Eli and Isaac did today, returning to Uglegorsk. They seemed to do just fine. When we got in the car, they told Anya they were really glad they could drive away and didn't have to stay there anymore. Seeing them in that context was a good way for me to see the big picture again. Those two boys have come SO far in the last 5-6 weeks. Next time I get frustrated with them for leaving the fridge door open I need to step back and remember it hasn't been that long.
The hardest thing to do is to look into the eyes of a child who wants desperately to be loved and tell them you cannot take them with you. You will never forget the ones you have to leave behind but remember that God has a plan for each of them and you have answered the His call for the two you have. Now its up to God to lay the other ones on the hearts of others to stand up and do the same. Being an advocate for these kids comes easily, its just hard not to be "the one" for them all. Hang in there and keep telling people about your journey. Through that God will do amazingly and abundantly more than we can ask or imagine!
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