Yesterday, the day before our three month anniversary of having Alex home, I finally started organizing the pile of documents I had brought home from Ukraine. Each piece of paper I reviewed brought back vivid memories of my time in Ukraine and the accompanying emotions: anxiety, pain, frustration, anger, excitement, panic, fear, exhilaration. It was a rough day yesterday, as I processed everything all over again.
Aside: As I go about Life, every now and then I'll hit a trigger--a smell usually, that will take me back to Ukraine for a split second. It's quite jarring, and it takes me awhile to pull myself together. I can only imagine how traumatic these triggers are for my boys.
So anyway, yesterday's harsh reminder of where Alex started prompted me to pull back and think about what he really needs right now. The word that keeps floating around in my head is Trust. Trust means everything in adoption. It is a delicate, precious commodity that is hard to gain and easy to lose. The English will come; what matters now is building trust. Everything else will grow from that foundation. It is easy to get impatient and just want everything to be "normal" but we are only three months in.
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