Ready for Lviv

The boys and I are packed up and ready to go. Anya and Den will be here soon. Den will drive us to Dnipropetrovsk (I cannot say that out loud for the life of me), then Anya, the boys and I will take a train straight to Lviv. No need to change in Kiev. It will be a long train trip, about 17 hours, but we'll have our own sleeper compartment and plenty of Dramamine. And we'll have UNO.

It will probably be awhile before I blog again so don't worry about us.

Court Day Part 2

Now that the dust has settled, I remember all the things I meant to include in the first blog post but forgot.

Victor seemed as happy and relieved as the rest of us following the court appearance.  Curt asked him how many times he's seen a judge say 'no' at an adoption hearing.  He tentatively answered "Never..."  He was obviously worried about today, though.  Praise God everything went so smoothly because it could have gone much differently.  Victor said that our experience ranks right up there with Karol Saner's as one of the hardest adoptions he's dealt with.  At the moment it's a badge I'd rather not wear but surely it will all make sense someday.  The people who have endured the toughest trials have the most powerful testimonies, right?  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  James 1: 2-4

After court, we drove up to the orphanage to tend to a few paperwork matters.  No one told the boys where we were going.  They hadn't been back since we checked them out on October 31.  When we pulled up, one of them said "Oh no, _____ Uglegorsk."  (doing my best to translate) "No it's not."  "Yes, look, we're at Uglegorsk."  I didn't even think about preparing them.  They seemed to be okay though.  I'm sure it looks different to them than it did five weeks ago.

On the hour-long drive from Uglegorsk back to Donetsk, the four Powells crammed into the back seat with Sasha driving and Victor sleeping in the passenger seat.  Isaac, as usual, sat on the edge of the bench seat, leaning forward so he see everything and be heard by everyone.  He talked CONTINUOUSLY the entire hour.  Naturally he was speaking Russian, so, with Victor soundly asleep, Sasha was the only one who could understand him.  I have no idea what Isaac was talking about (although I did hear "Ameriki" a lot so he was probably telling his version of what America must be like) but Sasha chuckled the whole way home.

Isaac frequently talks Anya's ear off as well.  Those of you who knew Cassie about 4-6 years ago, do you remember how I used to be so tired all the time because Cassie would NOT stop talking?  A constant barrage of questions and postulations flowed from her mouth.  It's like deja vu, only with a small Ukrainian blue-eyed boy.  Active minds!

We had "fun" with Anya tonight at a sushi restaurant.  The boys' first time.  EVERYTHING was new. Chopsticks!  Wasabi!  Those little bowls for soy sauce!  So much to experience.  But they hated it, lol.  I think they liked the experience, but couldn't handle the food.  Too different.  Understandable.

We bought our train tickets for Lviv.  Leaving tomorrow!

Court Day!

It's over!  It's done!  It's official!  The court hearing was very quick; about ten minutes.  After all the drama and heartache, today's appointment, the one that meant everything, was quick and painless.  I can't believe that was IT.

Sitting beside the judge were two jurors and a stenographer.  In front of them were Galina, Enakievo's inspector who was advocating for the adoption, and a prosecutor who barely even lifted his head.  Didn't say a word.  Facing the judge were Curt and me, the boys, Victor, Larissa from the orphanage, and a couple of other people I didn't know.  There was a lot of formalese in the beginning.  Victor translated for us and we had to answer "Yes" a few times to "do you agree" and "do you understand" questions.  Galina talked for a little while, then the judge, the very kind, lovely judge, called Isaac and Eli to the bench.  She asked them lots of questions.  Questions about us, Cassie and Clay, their new names, and of course the obvious "do you want to be adopted?"  They answered them so confidently!  Brave boys.  Of course it helped that the judge was so gentle and kind.  No questions for us.  No drama about the brother.  That was it.  The judge said she would deliberate with the jurors for 30 minutes and come back with a verdict.  About three minutes later Victor walked out and said Congratulations.  That was it!  The judge felt the boys wanted to be adopted, our paperwork from the US was in order, the SDA recommended the adoption, and we had Galina on our side.  That was all she needed!

Thank you all so much for your prayers.  I could feel them in the court room.  I should have been tied up in knots, but strangely, I was smiling through the whole thing.  I felt such peace and confidence.

So now what?  Curt just left for the airport and Victor is heading back to Kiev.  Wednesday we'll regroup with Victor to pick up some papers in Enakievo, and that starts several days of running around.  "Several days of running around" stretched me to my limit a few weeks ago, but this time it's just hoop-jumping.  No arm-twisting necessary.  Curt's sister Kayla will probably fly out around Dec 10.  She'll help me with the boys through the home stretch and fly back to the States with us.  Our flight home will likely be Dec. 21.

SO, between now and Wednesday we're going to have some fun.  Anya will be here soon so we can plan our trip to Lviv.  I am SO looking forward to it.

Court Tomorrow...For Real, This Time

Victor is here with all of our paperwork in hand.  He called the judge this morning, who cheerfully asked if he was all ready for tomorrow.  I think it's really going to happen this time!  Our appointment is at 9:00am Ukraine time.  We are eight hours ahead of Tulsa, so that's 1:00am back home in case you happen to be up and want to say a quick prayer for us.  Victor prepped us, telling us what to expect and how to best answer the standard questions they are likely to ask.  It still seems that there are some pitfalls we could fall into, but hopefully since the judge has a full schedule tomorrow she'll be eager to go through the motions and be done with it.

We need to be ready to go by 7:00am tomorrow, and we have tickets for tonight's hockey game at 7:00pm, so it will probably be a short night.  No matter, I'm not likely to get much sleep anyway.  I've been feeling the physical effects of the stress lately.  I've had migraine symptoms three of the last four days.  I'm guessing that after tomorrow things will clear up and we'll all be in better spirits.  Curt is flying out from Donetsk at 3:50pm tomorrow, and assuming all is cool, Anya, the boys and I will have our little getaway weekend to Lviv.  We'll have lots of not-very-fun stuff to do when we get back, but by then I might even be able to see a light at the end of this very long tunnel.

Less than 2 days and counting........

Curt here:

Had a relaxing day today.  The usual morning routine.  The boys got balloons yesterday when we went to a chocolate shop.  They quickly took them off the sticks, untied them and enjoy blowing them up and letting them fly around the room.  They also like to blow them up and then have me play keep away from them.  An important milestone: we used up the last of the tuna Jocelyn had brought over from the U.S. today.  They only 'American' food left is what remains in the large jar of peanut butter she brought over (I think she refers to this jar as a lifeline).  Anya came over for an English lesson, and then we all went out with Den to run errands.  We did a little Christmas shopping and then went to the Shaktar Fan Store so the boys could get a Shaktar scarf.  Shaktar is the soccer club here in Donetsk, and they are the best club in Ukraine now.  They are in the Premier league and are 16-0-1 this year.  They even split and home and away series with Chelsea this year.  Jocelyn posted pics from the game the other night.  We had tickets about 4 rows up from the pitch and they cost probably about 5 or 6 dollars each.  However, that is apparently proportional to what we pay for sporting events in America.  Ben told us the other day, that if they tried to charge higher prices, people here could not afford to go to the games.

After the Fan Store, we headed to get tickets for the Donbass hockey game tomorrow night (local club in the 'Continental league').  Paid about $60 total for 7 tickets, center ice down low.  Viktor arrives at 0800 in the morning, so we will be spending the day prepping for court.  The hockey game should be a nice diversion before we head to Enakievo early Thursday morning for the all important court date.  I spoke to Viktor about an hour ago, and he was headed to the train station to catch the overnight train.  I took that as a good sign.  I also let him know after my flight change last week, I am scheduled to fly out Thursday at 1600, after court in the morning.  He said he did not see this as a problem.  I also took that as a good sign.  We have been praying a lot, and I know friends and family have as well, that Thursday will go smoothly.  I have faith that it will, although with our recent string of setbacks, it is hard not to have a little irritating twinge of fear that something is not going to go right.  Just gotta let it go and put it in God's hands.

Looking Ahead

Another relaxed day.  English lesson with Anya, a great lunch with Ben and Angela, and a trip to the chocolate shop for some treats.  The highlight of the day for me was discussing with Anya what to do after our court date.  Curt is flying out a few hours after our court hearing on Thursday, then we have our ten day waiting period.  We do have some commitments during that time, but they can be consolidated.  So, assuming all goes well on Thursday, which is asking a lot considering our track record, the boys and I will go out of town for a few days with Anya.  We talked about some options and landed firmly on Lviv.  It's a beautiful Ukrainian city on the border with Poland; very Western with little Soviet influence.  Photos I've seen look much more like Vienna/Prague than Donetsk, or even Kiev.  It sounds like it's much more Western in thought as well.  It will feel like home!  We'll only be there 2-3 days, but the long train ride will chew up some time and I'm thinking the break from the heavily Russian-influenced region we're in will be just the boost I need to get through the last few weeks.

Birthdays and Board games

Curt here:

Today was another lazy day.  Since it is my birthday, I slept in a little longer.  The dudes came in to tell me that breakfast was ready, and we had some tasty eggs and pears that Jocelyn had prepared.  It was overcast today so we spent most of it inside.  The problem with that is that these are 2 happy brothers with a lot of energy, and they can start bouncing off the walls.  These boys have essentially only had each other for years, so they are very close.  They love to wrestle and tickle each other.  Sometimes their horseplay can get a little rough, and one of them will call out to us that the other one hurt them (although they are right back to rough-housing as soon as they are satisfied that they have tattled sufficiently.).  Although Isaac is younger and a bit smaller, he seems to dominate many of these sessions.  A couple of times we had to separate them for awhile with each of us taking one of them into separate rooms for a little 'time in'.  Finally, I broke down and wrestled with them for a long time to wear them out.  We watched Monsters Inc. to pass some time.  As soon as the opening credits were rolling, they were showering me with "Mike Wazowski's!"  I love it when we watch movies on the computer.  Their laughter is infectious, and it is priceless having these two little cherubs laying on each of your shoulders enjoying just being with you.

It is fun to see how alike they are in some respects, but how different they are in others.  Eli, being the elder, is a bit taller than Isaac, but I think he is small for his age at this point.  He has a 'stockier build'.  His favorite drink is milk, and every now and then when he drinks a glass he flexes his biceps, like the picture on the milk bottle, to show us how strong he is getting.  Den recently gave him a gift of one of those spring devices that you squeeze to improve your grip.  He carries that thing around constantly and is always showing us how he is working out his forearms.  I see some P90x in his future.  Last night they had finished their bath, and Isaac was running around being cute before bed.  Eli always takes longer to get ready, and he was not out of the bathroom yet.  After about another 10 minutes, Jocelyn checked on him.  He came out and indicated that he was lying stretched out in the bottom of the bathtub with the water all drained out.  He was excited to tell her that he was measuring himself, and he has gotten taller in the last few weeks!

Another gift that Den brought for them is a simple board game.  It has a race track, and you roll a single die to move your pieces around the track to the finish line.  There are various spots where you lose a turn if you land in a pit stop, and there are areas where you can't pass each other etc.  There is no strategy involved, but they love it.  Well, in addition to a lack of training on what parts of certain foods you do not eat (see previous), they apparently have not been properly trained in the art of rolling dice.  In the orphanage we played a lot of Uno with them, but I do not recall seeing any games with dice.  Anyway, it was CUTE watching them roll this little die that is included with the game.  Eli (our strongman), would put the die in between both hands and shake it as hard as he could (I mean face all tensed up and turning red), and then he would turn his hand down and literally spike that puppy into the floor.  Isaac would simply shake it in one hand and then throw it across the room before running to find out what number chance had given him.  After several (slow) games played in this manner, and having retrieved the die multiple times from beneath the chair or couch, I finally had to instruct them on the 'civilized' way to roll dice.

To end the day, we walked down to Goodini pizza.  Ben and Angela told us about this place.  The pizza is more American style and was quite good.  The boys had their usual sausage and cheese, and Anya, Joc and I had the 'Mexican pizza' that was pepperoni-ish with some peppers that they called jalapeños and tomatoes.  The peppers actually had some kick, so it was nice to have something a little spicy for a change.  Can't get any mexican food here.  All in all, it was a wonderful Birthday, and certainly one I will never forget.  We have now made it through the weekend and are looking forward to this week and our court date (finally).  Please keep up the prayers that all will go smoothly Thursday at 0900.

Ramblings

It's early for a blog post, but I woke up today, Curt's birthday, with a revelation: This is utterly absurd.  These arbitrary delays, I mean.  Ukraine is a hopelessly corrupt country with mountains of problems.  We put our lives on hold, traveled halfway around the world, and made tremendous sacrifices so we could help make a small dent in these problems, and for the most part we have been met with indifference and disdain.  Cultural differences, I know.  There is also pride involved; we are taking their children away.  But come on: Americans and Italians and other foreigners who are willing to make these kind of sacrifices are NOT the biggest threat to Ukraine's orphans.  Statistics say that 10-20% of these Eastern European orphans can cobble together some sort of productive life as adults in their home country; aren't their chances better somewhere else, with a family to guide them?  I just can't make sense of this system.

The fact that adopting these children is so difficult makes what Ben and Angela do so very important.  In May, we met some other missionaries in Zaporozhye with a similar focus: coach the teenaged orphans how to survive in Ukraine.  How to avoid getting caught up in human trafficking.  How to make the most of their situation.  How they will always have a Heavenly Father to guide them.  Ben and Angela, Jessica in Zaporozhye, and the others who are led to this extremely difficult calling are truly the hands and feet of Christ.  I'm just spending a few weeks here, then I get to go home to my warm house and comfy bed and mold these children to my way of life.  Ben and Angela live here, indefinitely.  They do their best to adapt to the drastically different lifestyle.  They struggle to communicate and endure the glares every day.  They see the appalling conditions that these unfortunate kids live in every day.  They see the devastating results of the kids' poor choices every day.  It takes special people who are truly listening to God's whispers to sacrifice their comfortable, easy lives back at home and jump into the fire.  They have a strength and faith that is beyond my scope of understanding.  May God Bless them in every way imaginable.

Goooooaaaaaal!

LAZY day today.  It was great.  I spent some time planning our family trip to California in June, so I got to escape reality for a little while.

The boys seem more and more comfortable around us and filled with joy about this whole family thing.  Last night when we were tucking them in to bed, they both kept saying, "Good night Mama!  Good night Papa!  I love you Mama!  I love you Papa!" over and over.  Food issues seem to be relaxing, if not resolving.  Their English is getting good enough that we can communicate about more than just basic needs.  As far as bonding goes, everything is heading in the right direction.  If only we could get these logistics taken care of so we can go home!

We went to a soccer game tonight.  The sporting events really are a highlight of our time here.  We are hoping to catch a hockey game with Curt yet this week.  At these games, there is an organized cheering/chanting section.  At the soccer game tonight it was a couple hundred people.  There are a few drummers and a conductor that leads the chants.  The chanters all wave flags, and tonight I saw a startling open flame and orange smoke that looked a lot like the smoke that comes from the nearby metal factories.  ;)  They chant pretty much through the entire game.  It's really, really cool.

Thanksgiving leftovers

Curt here:

Well, today was a good day.  We have been working on another jigsaw puzzle and taking it easy.  We made a dent in the leftovers from our Thanksgiving feast, and it was as good as yesterday.  Dining habits from an orphanage can be hard to break.  Today we discovered that we had to teach the boys not to eat the rinds of their orange slices or the bones in their chicken.  We previously had to teach them not to eat the core of an apple.  I guess when you don't get much food you learn to eat everything you can.  Anya came over for an English lesson, and then we took the boys for a walk and gave in to their cries for McDonalds for dinner (they love a happy meal).

Viktor called today and let us know he picked up the referral from the SDA today.  It says we have permission to adopt boys, but that the final decision to allow the adoption of the boys without their older brother is up to the Judge.  This is the Judge we met on Wednesday who seemed nice and was trying to help us, so this is what we wanted the referral to say at this point.  Our court date is Thursday the 29th at 0900, so we welcome all prayers for the Judge to have discernment and that she would rule in our favor and allow the boys to be adopted.

Well, we are off to a soccer match tomorrow evening.  I am excited to see the new stadium, plus it will be a fun activity that will occupy several hours to help the time go faster.  The boys have finished their bath, and it will soon be time for bed.  We love tucking the kids in for the hugs and listening to them whisper their prayers.

More tomorrow.

Thanksgiving, Ukrainian style

Although still a bit numb from yesterday's events, today was a MUCH better day.  We tried to focus just on today, Thanksgiving Day with the boys and Anya and Den.  Anya took us to a large grocery store where we could stock up for our American-style feast.  We were also able to buy some decent knives, which is already making cooking SO much easier and safer.  Our dinner included a couple of rotisserie chickens, homemade mashed potatoes, canned corn, canned peas, cranberry jelly (!), some wonderful Georgian bread, and some chocolate-cherry cake.  Even with limited kitchen facilities, it turned out beautifully and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

Den brought over some toys for the boys: those paper models with tabs that you put together to make cars and planes and such.  After dinner, all four boys had a great time trying to figure them out.  It was a wonderfully relaxed, enjoyable evening with great conversation.  Next best thing to being at home.

We also got to Skype with Cassie, Clay, Nana and Papo, so we still got to "see" everyone at home.  It's so cute to see Eli and Isaac use their English with Cassie and Clay.  They are learning so quickly.

I mentioned to Anya that I was cold in the apartment, so she promptly called the manager and had her bring a space heater.  Manna from heaven.  I find it interesting that Eli and Isaac are extremely hot-natured.  I brought some warm, cuddly footie pajamas for them and they HATE them.  Can't stand them.  I'll be wrapped up in every layer I have, shivering cold, and the boys will be complaining that they are hot.  I'm guessing this is because the orphanage is cold and they've just adjusted?  I wonder if they will always be this hot-natured.  If so, Oklahoma summers will be brutal for them.

We've all decided that Eli is filling out.  The jeans that fit him perfectly three weeks ago are looking a bit snug.  I think Isaac is too, it's just not as obvious as with Eli.

I was showing Anya photos from our trip to Uglegorsk in May.  We started asking Eli and Isaac questions about their classmates:

Do you miss your friends at Uglegorsk?
No.
Who was your best friend at Uglegorsk?
Illya.
Besides Illya, who were your friends?
Illya.
Do you miss anything about Uglegorsk?
No.

I guess it's possible that they are afraid we will send them back if they say they miss anything/anybody, but it's still sad to hear.  They are SO ready to go home.

Trying to solve the world's problems over dinner

"sexy lips"

Eli has the post-Thanksgiving dinner pose down

Isaac kills me

Boys and their toys

So proud of his plane!

Вы, должно быть, шутишь!

Вы, должно быть, шутишь! (You have got to be kidding me!),

Curt here:

Well, this just keeps getting better and better.  We were all set for our court date tomorrow at 1:00, finally after 2 weeks of delays from our original court date of the 8th.  After the initial delay, had another court date on the 15th, but after the Makeevka incident/delay we were pushed back to the 22nd.  The upside was supposedly that Viktor's friend would be back at work last Monday to submit our papers to the SDA so that we could then have our court date on the 22nd.  Plan was for Viktor to get the final document today, take the overnight train to Donetsk and then court tomorrow in Eniakevo.  I get a call about noon from Viktor expecting final details......but this is Ukraine.  Turns out the guy whose job it is to go from the SDA to the Ministry of Social Policy (MSP) to pick up the final paper and give it to Viktor 'called in sick'.  Therefore, it will not be possible to get the paper until Friday.  Now I am just a dumb American, so I ask "can't someone else walk over there and get the paper for you?"  The answer: 'that is not their responsibility, it is the responsibility of that person' (big government at it's finest folks).  I restate the question with the same pat response.  Then I suggest that since court is not until the afternoon tomorrow, how about getting the paper in the morning at nine, and then I will get you on the 45 minute flight from Kiev to Donetsk so we can make our court date tomorrow.  'Well, the person will have to get settled into the office in the morning, then it will take an hour to go get the paper, then maybe an hour to get to the airport, and then the hour drive to Enakievo........'  in other words no stinking way.

I am royally pissed at this point, so after taking a walk with the boys over to where we were meeting Ben and Angela (2 angels by the way) for lunch, I calm down enough to call Viktor back.  He whispers that he is talking to some people right now to try and work something out and he will call me back.  Calls me back in 15 minutes to say that he has convinced someone to go with him to the MSP at 2:00 (lunch is from 1:00 to 2:00) to get the paper, and he will call me back at 2:30.  Phone rings and I pick it up nervously to discover that he saw the paper on the Inspector's (whatever the title is) desk.  It says the SDA cleared us to adopt the boys.  However, the Inspector has not signed it yet, and he has also decided not to come back to work after lunch.  "Can you then get it in the morning after he signs it and do the 45 minute flight thingy?"  'The person that brought me over here today said they could not come back and bother them again tomorrow or they will get in trouble and could lose their job.  We will have to pick it up on Friday.'   Strike six I believe (I have stopped counting).

Now we have to get in the car and drive to Enakievo before the courthouse closes at 5:00.  Anya and Den (2 other angels) get us over there.  Anya talks to the Judge.  To summarize:  No she will not let us fax the signed form tomorrow for the court and then finalize everything Friday when the original is in her hand.  No she will not do the court hearing on Monday or Tuesday, only Thursdays.  In other words, wait another week until some other government worker messes something up so you can wait another week, and another, and another etc.  I feel like I am in a Bill Murray movie....."watch that first step, it's a doozie!" (cheap Groundhog Day reference, but I could not resist).  So, we filed another petition and got a court time for the 29th at 0900.......supposedly a solid time.  The Judge was pretty ticked (not at us) that we have had to change the court date twice now.  She seemed to be nice and sympathetic to our plight.  She even tried to see if there was some way that I could sign Power of Attorney over to Jocelyn so that I could get back home to our kids and my patients, but the law says we both have to be present for the court hearing.  Hopefully, having seen us and our sad faces, it will help us NEXT Thursday so that it is the final hearing.

So, I have called my Nurse to once again shuffle a bunch of patient appointments and surgeries around, and she will take care of it expertly as she always does.  My Mom is back home with Cassie and Clay working her buns off and taking wonderful care of them in our absence.  Cassie and Clay are hanging in there well, but they are very homesick for their Momma.  We are going to try and piece together some sort of Thanksgiving meal out of the available groceries here (I am sure whatever we get will have dill in it).  I will even try to watch a little Football via the Internet if I can.  The way my Cowboys have been playing lately, it may be better that I am not there to see it.  We will try to find some way to pass the hours/days until the next 'proposed' court date arrives, and we will pray that there are no more roadblocks in our way.  We are having lots of bonding time with the Boys, and they are just wonderful, so that is a plus.

Now with all of that said, I must pass on a story from today.  Anya came over early for an English lesson.  From time to time she gives the boys a grivna or two when they do something good (remember, there are about 8.2 grivnas per dollar).  Isaac had amassed 15 grivnas, and Eli had a dollar.  After the lesson, she said the boys told her that they wanted to go buy something with their money.  I traded Eli 15 Grivnas for his buck to even the amount between them, and off the three of them went. Jocelyn and I enjoyed the 20 or so minutes of quiet back at the 'castle'.  They came back smiling, and Eli produced 3 pink roses that they had bought for their Mom.  They had spent all of their money except for 2 grivnas each (Anya said it was all their idea).  What thoughtful, generous little dudes.  Can't wait to get them home.

No Court Tomorrow

Devastating news today.  There was a ridiculous paperwork issue and our court date has been postponed until next Thursday, Nov 29.  We didn't see this coming, at all.  I'll let Curt post about the details.  It's so absurd, under any other circumstances I would find it humorous.  Each day here has been getting harder and harder, and the thought of an additional week is almost unbearable.  Best case scenario now, the boys and I will be coming home around Dec 21.  Another week away from Cassie and Clay, another week trying to entertain two increasingly active and bored boys as the weather continues to get colder, in an artificial environment where it's nearly impossible to set boundaries or get into any kind of effective routine.  This is very difficult for Curt, too, as he has to take another week off work at the busiest time of year.  Not to mention the additional expenses involved...this is not how this was supposed to go!  I cannot believe that I have been here for five weeks and our court date is still a week away.  In hindsight, I should have gone home with Curt a month ago.  We had no idea things would break this way.

So, whining out of the way, here is the good news.

1.  All of our paperwork looks great and the court hearing next week should be routine, quick, and painless.  (Ha.  I've said that before, haven't I?)

2.  I didn't have a true nervous breakdown today.  I thought I just might.  If today didn't break me, nothing can.

3.  Ben and Angela.  We were scheduled to have lunch with them just minutes after we got our bad news, and it was good to have some Westerners to vent to.

3.  Anya and Den.  They are going to come over tomorrow to try to give us as "normal" a Thanksgiving as possible.  We have a rough plan, and Anya and I will go grocery shopping in the morning.  The reminders that we are not with the rest of our family at Thanksgiving will be difficult, but it's probably good that I'll be busy.

Of course the boys are concerned and confused.  Anya told them what was going on, but it's complicated and I'm sure they don't fully understand.  Eli keeps asking, "It okay?" and "America no?"  I had brought a big dry erase calendar, with our important dates marked.  Tonight I erased the whole thing and started over so they could get a sense of the timeline.  They want to get out of here as badly as I do.

Today I kept meditating on the verse that Karol Saner so wisely told me: "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."  Galatians 6:9

Curt will post later as well.

The Ropes Course

Today was the day the differences between this Russian-leaning region and The United States really hit me in the face.  Almost literally.  Social mores are starkly different.  I've seen evidence of that here and there, but today it couldn't have been any clearer.

I about lost control at the grocery store today.  One too many people shoved me and/or my stuff out of their way.  "Excuse me" or "sorry" are phrases you just don't hear here.  If you're in someone's way, they will physically push past you.  If you're at a ticket window and don't defend your territory aggressively enough, someone else will come up to your window, interrupt what you're doing, and take care of their business with you standing there, mouth agape.  I've seen this since Day 1 but it happened at every turn today.  I wanted to take my jug of water that someone had just purposefully pushed aside and swing it in a big circle, knocking over everyone within three feet of me.  Wisely, I resisted.

Later in the day, Anya took us to the ropes course.  The boys had done the kids' course a week or two ago and breezed through it.  Curt wanted to do the course with them, so they all signed up for the adult course.  If Curt and I had known how difficult it would be for the boys, we wouldn't have allowed them to start it.  Being Ukraine, they don't have a guide go with them and there is no way to get off once they've started.  Isaac did better than Eli did.  Isaac is a natural athlete.  Towards the end, though, he was complaining that he just wanted to sleep.  Oh but poor Eli.  My heart broke for the little guy.  He had a really tough time up there.  Several times he got stuck.  Anya and a guide would sternly tell him what he needed to do to get back on track, but he often needed a guide to scale a tree and help untangle him.  Curt and I wanted to just get him down, but Anya kept insisting that he would finish it.  He did finish, but by the end he was utterly exhausted and emotionally spent.  It took them over an hour to finish.  One thing's for sure: these boys are tough.  I know a lot of it again is orphanage survival, but I get the sense that as a whole, kids raised here are not nearly as pampered as our kids in the States.

The Magic Card

Curt here:

Well, it is good to be back in Donetsk with Joc and the boys.  The flight over was not bad.  I had good connections, but I was still pretty tired once I got here.  It was great to see everyone at the airport.  The boys came running up and had BIG hugs for me.  I got some good sleep the last two days, so the jet lag is over.

I have settled into the 'routine' here.  The boys sleep a good 10 hours a night (Isaac about 30 minutes more than Eli), and then they are up and going.  They are hungry boys, although they are slowing down a little bit from when Jocelyn first got them.  The first thing they wanted to do when we got to the apartment is take me to the kitchen and show me the food in the refrigerator.  In fact, sometimes when they are eating, they want to open the door to the fridge just to see the food while they are eating.  We have to stay on them to keep it closed.  I guess they are very proud of the fact that they have plenty to eat.  Jocelyn still feeds them multiple small meals per day, but they are getting a little more picky.  Isaac is the pickiest.  When you ask if he wants anything, he will usually say 'no', although he may eat it a little later.  He is testing boundaries I think.  He seems to prefer vegetables mostly, and is not so big on bread and potatoes (french fries being the universal exception to the rule).  Eli will eat most things and LOVES milk.  Jocelyn makes a trip to the grocery store around the corner pretty much every day, and is doing a great job of getting fresh foods to prepare for them.  There is usually one meal out each day, either at the Vienna Cafe (a wonderful pastry shop) or at a number of other restaurants nearby that have a good variety of foods.  Tonight we were having a nice dinner of traditional Ukrainian fare with Anya at the 'Goose and Swan'.  When it came time to pay the check, Isaac informed Anya that we have a 'magic card' that we give people at restaurants and stores, and then we do not have to give them any money.  This led to an impromptu discussion about what credit cards are and how they are definitely not free....something we will discuss more in-depth in the future no doubt.

The boys are great.  They have learned to say 'please' and 'thank you' whenever they need/want something or need help.  Sometimes the 'please, please, please' can get to you when you are in a store, but it is much better than tantrums.  They are very well-mannered in public.  They do not run off, and they do not go crazy grabbing things when we are in a store.  Occasionally, they will pick up things, but they are quick to put it back when told.  We have been doing jigsaw puzzles and playing some games on our iPhones together for some good bonding time.  They are both very affectionate and come over regularly to stock up on hugs.  Tonight we went to a mall after dinner to get them watches.  Anya knew of a kiosk in the mall that had some cheap watches.  The Spiderman watch was the hottest ticket, and Isaac grabbed it first....so I goes he won.  Eli picked out a nice blue race car watch.  You could not imagine two happier kids.  We were showered with 'thank you Mama' and 'thank you Papa' all the way home.  They are in the tub now, but I am sure the watches will be on their wrists marking the hours that they sleep tonight.

Well, we will see what tomorrow brings.  I am sure we will be out an about sometime during the day.  It is COLD here, especially compared to what I left in Tulsa.  The highs have been in the 20's and 30's so we bundle up in caps and gloves.  Only 3 more days until the big court date.....Thanksgiving Day!  We are praying that this one is extra memorable.  I have faith that all will go well.

More to follow........

Curt

Photos with Papa

It's been another good day with Curt here.  We visited Vienna Cafe, an outdoor playground (for a little while--it's SO cold outside), and had a nice chat with Ben and Angela at our apartment.  The boys think Papa is the greatest thing ever.

Anya will be here soon.  I know Curt will like her as much as the rest of us do.

We are looking forward to our big court date on Thursday.

Survivor

This morning, after studying my terribly roughed up hands (probably just extremely dry from the constant dish washing in cold water), Curt likened my time here to being on the tv show "Survivor."  I'm losing weight, eating strange food, personal hygiene is compromised, I'm dealing with extreme weather conditions and uncomfortable sleeping quarters, all the while, trying to build relationships with people and get them to do what I want so that I can leave with the grand prize. And of course there are frequent "challenges" that stretch my physical and emotional limits.  I'm ready for this game to be over.

The boys love having Curt here.  It's so nice that I can relax a little and share some of the load for awhile.  Curt and the boys are working on a new puzzle now; later we will go exploring.

He's Here!

Short blog post tonight because Curt made it to Donetsk!  Ahh, the boys are so glad to see him.  It's gone from "Mommy?'  "Mommy?"  "Mommy!"  to "Papi?"  "Papi!" "Papi!"  I recently heard Isaac say "Mama e Pappa" to no one in particular, with a big smile on his face, I'm sure just liking the sound of it.  

I'll post more tomorrow.

One More Day!

Curt gets here tomorrow!  Yay!  The boys are very excited to see Papa and so am I.  Victor is in Kiev and Anya and Den are about to leave town for the weekend so Anya's friend Andrew will play chauffeur tomorrow, picking the boys and me up, gathering Curt from the airport, and bringing us all back to the apartment. I've met Andrew but he doesn't speak English so it should be...fun!

It's cold outside.  20s Fahrenheit.  It's harder to find opportunities for the boys to burn off energy when it's that cold.  We went to the Vienna Cafe again this morning, but someone was cleaning the balls in the ball pit.  I guess that's a good thing but what to do with the day?  Anya suggested going to see a movie; the boys had never been to the theater.  They are familiar with the Twilight series (I guess they've seen the movies at the orphanage) so we went to see Breaking Dawn.  I know, my friends in Tulsa are getting a kick out of this, as I always roll my eyes when they swoon over Edward and/or Jacob.  Naturally, the movie was dubbed in Russian, making it even more confusing and creepy.  The boys liked it though, and we didn't have to fight massive crowds to get into the theater.

It's only about 3:00 here but it gets dark very early, so we are in for the night.  After the cafe pastries and movie popcorn, we will take it easy, eat something healthy, and hopefully have some low-key fun tonight.  Curt is bringing another puzzle and some toys, so tomorrow we'll have some new things to do.

Getting our Groove Back

Oh, this should have been a really bad day!  After an ill-advised 7pm coffee at the (very fun) hockey game, I could NOT sleep last night.  I was still staring at the clock well after 4:00am, obsessing about all the little things that *could* go wrong today but didn't.  Victor is back for a few hours, Curt now has his documents for the US Embassy ready to go, my ATM card finally works, I paid my rent for the week, Curt has a ride from the airport to the apartment on Saturday, they boys have been agreeable today, AND, we officially got our court date: November 22 at 1:00.  Thanksgiving Day.  Let's hope we will have a BIG reason to be thankful this year!

This has been such a fun day.  In case it's not obvious, I really like Anya.  So do the boys.  We're all going to miss her terribly when we leave.  The four of us had a blast at a restaurant called Tabasco.  They try really hard to do American food.  The restaurant looks sort of like a Logan's Roadhouse, with Western decor and John Wayne movies playing.  There's even a guy dressed up as a cowboy, ushering you in the door.  Speaking Russian.  :)

Earlier in the day, Victor brought Christian Pilet and his new daughter Rose (Ola) over to do some paperwork and to visit.  The Pilets will be on their way out soon--I wish we'd been able to spend more time with them.

I have some great pics to share today.

Getting warmed up for this Oklahoma cowboy thing

Isaac sure does adore Anya!

Food Issues

Today started as one of the days I just "mothered with my hands," a term I found in a more experienced adoptive mom's blog.  I am still pretty worn out.  I don't know if it's just yesterday's events that zapped me or if it's more a cumulative thing, but my patience is starting to wear thin.  Or maybe it's in anticipation of Curt coming--I know that soon I can hand over some of the parenting responsibilities and I'm jumping the gun a little.  This is certainly getting hard.

I've gone out alone with the boys a few times the last 24 hours and there haven't been any major catastrophes.  When someone asks me a question, Isaac is quick to say "My mamma doesn't speak Russian" and does what he can to translate.  The boys are actually very helpful.

We got to meet Australian missionaries Ben and Angela and their six year old daughter at Vienna Cafe, the place with the indoor playground.  The kids all had a blast and it was so nice to sit and chat with native English speakers!  We had lots to talk about.

Tonight Anya is taking us to a hockey game.  Should be fun.

We seemed to be dealing with more food issues than usual today.  I'm guessing it had to do with the fact that we were out of some of our staples.  We weren't really low on food, but it may have seemed like it on some level to the boys.  OR maybe I just haven't had the patience to deal with it today.  Don't know.  Anyway, in case you are curious, here's the story.

Food is not a pleasure at Uglegorsk Orphanage, it's a matter of survival.  The kids eat whatever they can get, however they can get it.  When a child has been living like that for years, you can't just tell him, "Don't worry, we'll always have enough food" and expect the issues to disappear.  It will take lots of time, patience, love, and work to help these kids get to a healthy place when it comes to food.  Right now, Eli and Isaac eat as much as they can, as quickly as they can.  For right now I'm okay with that, as their bodies have been so deprived for such a long time, they have a lot of catching up to do.  Let them stay full so they know what it feels like!  I'll help teach them to moderate once we are home, can communicate better, and have some trust built up.

I've learned the hard way that I can't just put out a bowl/plate of food and expect them to share.  They will physically fight over the food, even if their tummies are full.  I have to divide it equally (and count food items in front of them sometimes).  The biggest issue I'm trying to gently address now is hoarding.  If they have access to something dry and bite-sized (crackers, nuts, dried fruit), they reflexively stuff their pockets with them.  They then want to find a hiding spot and eat.  I quickly instilled a "food stays in the kitchen" policy.  I try to keep it light-hearted, jokingly checking their pockets before they leave the kitchen and showing grace when they sneak it past me.

English lesson is about done.  Wish us Happy Hockeying and pray that my patience meter will be extended!

Justice!

I am still a bundle of nerves.

We had our hearing today in Enakievo.  If you've been following along, you know that Eli and Isaac have an older biological brother who lives in an orphanage about 90 minutes from theirs.  They rarely see him and don't have much of a relationship with him.  This brother seems to be rather troubled.  In order for our two boys to be adopted, they need to be legally separated from their brother.  This process is typically done in the children's birthplace; in this case, a town called Makeevka.  The powers that be in Makeevka, for reasons we don't know, would not "break the family."  They did not want any of us present at the hearing and did not specify why they wouldn't allow Eli and Isaac to be freed legally.  It's all a mystery.  Galina, the inspector in Enakievo, the jurisdiction where Eli and Isaac currently live, did not feel that we were granted due process.  Lovely, kind Galina organized another hearing, which was today.  Even though Enakievo is not the boys' birthplace, officials there do have some say.  There were eleven officials at the hearing, plus me, Eli and Isaac, Victor, Anya, and Larissa, from Uglegorsk.  The information about Eli and Isaac's biological family was presented thoroughly and fairly, as well as the history of our family's relationship with the boys.  Galina asked the boys several questions and gave me an opportunity to speak.  Galina stressed Ukrainian law's intent to protect the children and the officials' responsibility to act in the boys' best interest.  When it came time to vote, it was a unanimous decision to free Eli and Isaac to be adopted.

The report from the hearing will be presented to our judge alongside Makeevka's decision, and the judge will make the final call.  I haven't been able to speak with Victor much in the last week, but I think our Nov. 22 court date is pretty firm.  The decision from Makeevka was very distressing, not to mention the fact that they didn't want any of us present at the hearing, so it was wonderful to see a fair process today.  It seems there is more than one angel here in Ukraine.

Four more days until Curt gets here.  I will surely be ready for some relief.  Today really took a toll on me.  I've inadvertently discovered an extreme weight loss program.  I'm not sure if it's the stress, chasing these boys around, the food, carrying countless grocery bags up five flights up stairs, or a combination of those factors, but my pants are pretty loose.