Baby Steps

Finally, a low key day.  It feels like weeks since we've had one, even though that's not the case.

I had my first solo outing with the boys today.  Victor got us settled at the cafe with the playground (Vienna Cafe, my new Australian friend Angela has since told me).  I stayed there with the boys while our apartment was being cleaned.  There was a younger boy on the playset as well.  He seemed to be doing a lot of protesting, but I'm really not sure what went down.  My boys seemed to be doing their own thing.  Halfway back to our apartment, I noticed that Isaac was holding a Spiderman ball.  He sweetly and innocently claimed it was his (and I'm sure you can imagine how convincing he was), but we turned around, went back to the cafe, and he put it back in the ball pit without protest.  Maybe the fuss was about the ball?  I'll never know.

I need to keep taking these baby steps to gain some confidence when it comes to going out alone with the boys: taking out the trash, a quick trip with the boys to the grocery store (on the next block) to get a jug of milk, more trips to Vienna Cafe.  Fortunately it's hard to get lost in this neighborhood.  It is certainly anxiety-inducing for me to be responsible for two active boys (they have become MUCH more active since I first brought them here--I'm sure they're more comfortable in their surroundings, plus getting proper nutrition) who don't speak my language, surrounded by more people who don't speak my language.  And, for the most part, smiles and warm greetings are hard to come by here.  I do have friends always available to help, but I think spending time alone with the boys is important so we can continue to bond.

Anya and I were talking today about the differences in the boys' personalities.  Eli is SO serious and responsible.  He has shouldered way too much responsibility for such a young man.  Isaac is such a free spirit.  Why not?  His big brother always watches out for him.  Even though this first week has gone extremely well, we have a long road ahead of us when it comes to learning how to be a family.  Eli will need to allow the rest of us to take on some of his burden, Isaac will need to learn to answer to people other than his brother, and the rest of us need to be sensitive to the many traumas these boys have faced, and will continue to face.